Which Thing Kills More People? (GAME)


( music playing )Kicking the bucket
isn’t the only way to die, you could also kick
the side of a Taco Bell and get crushed by a neon sign
and liveno mas.We’re gonna play a game
to see just how well you know your unlikely
harbingers of death with a little help from
our own killing machine, Chase the gator.
This is… Okay, Link,
here’s how this works, I’m going to reveal
two different items that are known
to kill people, and then you’re going to direct
Chase the gator’s… mouth… – Hey!
– …towards which one you think actually kills
more people. – Yes.
Statistically… speaking.
– Statistically. Statistically.
What’s another way? Not actual in one year
like last year. Yeah,
but it will be per year, – but it is like an average.
– Okay. And then I’m going to
reveal which one is right. You have one cheat
that you can do, one hint, and that’s the gator-aide where you can ask for the reveal
of one of the numbers, not both of ’em, but you can
just pick which item, and reveal the number. Revealing both would
give me the answer. – Correct.
– I would love that. If you knew how to
compare numbers, that is. Now, Chase,
if you’re gonna talk, which you don’t have to, I guess I would puppet you. Like, say something. I can’t see anymore. – ( laughs ) That was
very compelling.
– You can’t see? Oh, you could see earlier? Yeah, that’s better,
thank you. All right. And, Link, if you get
three out of five, you win this handy dandy
life preserver because it saves lives. It could save my life. And why are you
wearing suspenders? Oh, I’ve got my waders on,
of course. ‘Cause we in the swamp. – Let’s do it.
– Let’s get started.( crunch, man yells )Up first, don’t hit
the vending machine when you’re browsing
for a cold drink unless you want to
get crushed by its weight
when it falls on you. That’s right,
vending machines kill people and it’s a serious issue. Which of these equally
terrifying monsters kill more people each year, vending machines
or sharks? Oh, sharks. Oh, sharks! Are you scared of ’em? I’m scared of gators too. This one’s harmless. At least I think so. Hmm. Man, why… Vending machines
fall on people and kill them. – It’s…
– Yes. That can’t happen
that often. Right, seems like
a rare event. It cannot happen
more than sharks. Or can it? Well,
that would be ironic. If this were
a comedy show, I would choose
vending machines, but I’m gonna say that… sharks have to
kill more people than falling
vending machines. I’m not an idiot. All right,
let’s reveal the numbers! Sharks kill 0.5 people? Half a person?
How you kill have a person? I don’t even know.
And how many… – Look at that.
– I’ll help you out. – Okay, thank you.
– All right. So less than
0.5 is what– – Two?
– Two! Two people die – from vending machines
every year.
– Are you kidding me? That means two people die while clutching Funyuns
every year. I think it’s because
they won’t come out and you get frustrated
and you start shaking it. – Yeah.
– That’s what it is. Either way, you’re wrong. They deserve to die.( crunch, man yells )Birthday parties are scary and not just because you’re
one year closer to death, there’s danger everywhere. You don’t know what’s in
those gift-wrapped boxes. And the balloons, people could
choke on those and die! And don’t even get me started
about inviting me to your hot air balloon
birthday party! I know those are deadly. – Mm.
– But how deadly? Which of these
kills more people on average per year, hot air balloons
or plain old balloons? You know, people do die
in hot air balloons ’cause they never come back. Uh-huh, yeah, right. You can’t land them
once you’re in there in the air. Yeah, pack a big lunch whenever you get on
one of those things, that’s all I’m saying. ‘Cause you’re going to space. But there’s a lot of
safety protocols when it comes to getting in
one of those balloon-ified… – travel devices.
– Mm-hmm. I’m saying birthday party ’cause
it’s an unsuspecting place. Well, birthday party
is not an answer. It’s balloons. – Oh, it’s just balloons?
– So you wanna go with balloons? No, my rationale
still holds, people are unsuspecting
of balloons and it’ll reach out
and they’ll kill you. Okay, show him
how many people are killed by balloons
every year. – 17!
– 17, yes, – I’m feeling good about this.
– And the number of people killed by
hot air balloons? – 5.8.
– Yes! Link, you are correct. I would like to go up in one
of those balloons with somebody. – Maybe you.
– Okay, we can do that. – You know,
the only funny thing…
– Maybe you. The only funny thing about
suffocating on a balloon is how high-pitched
your screams for help are. ( high-pitched )
Ah!( crunch, man yells )It’s always a relief to make it
through a meal without choking, but just because the steak’s
gone doesn’t mean you’re safe. When the server
drops off your check with a pen and a toothpick, you might be in more danger
than you think. Which of these items kills more
people on average per year by way of choking,
toothpicks – or pens?
– Link: Pens? Or “pins” as we said
growing up. Ink “pins.” “Pin,” y’all got a “pin”? Well, you chew on a pen, but then what do you
choke on, the end of it? So it’s got… Man, that’s a tough life,
choking on a toothpick? Whoo, that’s a tough
way to go. All right, how many people
choke on a toothpick… die by toothpick
every year? – Three!
– Three people die by… – Toothpick, that’s horrible.
– …choking on a toothpick? How many people
die by “pins”? 100 people die
by “pins” every year! But by choking on it? Yeah, that’s the information
that I’ve been given. – On– yes…
– How do you choke on a pen? You’re chewing on it
and it’s like… ( gasps ) and then it goes…
( gasps ) and it goes in there
and you go… ( long gasp ) – Chase, you believe that?
– And then it stops… – Probably.
– …and then you die. – “Probably.”
– Yeah, I mean, the most surprising
thing about this is that there are
still 100 people using pens. Right, I would like to
choke on a keyboard. Right.( crunch, man yells )Now when I’m in da club,
I like to pop champagne and throw my hands in the air
when the DJ tells me. You know what else throws
their hands in the air? People on roller coasters! Which one of these kills
more people per year on average, – champagne corks…
– Link: Mm. …or roller coasters? Well, again, you’ve got
all this protocol making sure
the roller coaster is safe. I know that it
hits the news when people are stranded
on a roller coaster and occasionally when
people fly off and die or… – Uh-huh.
– It does happen. Now, you also
have a gator-aide, you can reveal
one of these, Link. I almost killed you
with a champagne popper. Rhett:
That wasn’t even a cork,
that was just a…confetti deal.I did almost die,
thanks for reminding me. I wanna use
my gator-aide. Okay, which one
you want revealed? Show me the deaths
by roller coaster. Deaths by roller coaster
per year, four. Four? Are more than four people
killed by…? I mean,
they might be blinded, but I don’t know how
it could actually kill you. Right. Like, how can getting hit by this kill you? Even at point-blank range, it’s not gonna do more… than blind you, especially with
a number like… it’s not gonna
go above four. – You sure?
– Yeah, I’m sure. – There’s no way.
– You sure? That’s greater. I didn’t think so,
but now I do. Show him– how ’bout seeing how many people
die by champagne cork? 24, Link! – How? What am I missing?
– Oh, man, 24! Well, the interesting thing is
all those people were killed by the same champagne cork. It’s like…
( imitates rapid rattling ) And they all died,
it was one event. No, actually it happens
all the time. They travel at like
55 miles per hour and, at point-blank range,
it hits you in the right
part of the head… ( imitates crushing sounds ) Oh, my gosh. …you die. And, listen, there’s a lot
of champagne in the world.( crunch, man yells )Okay, Link,
you cannot win. The PFD? – You can’t win the PFD.
– Oh, goodness. But you can win
some pride back – with this last question.
– Yeah, I need that. Vacation should be a time
to kick back and relax, but don’t close your eyes
because even a tropical island can be a dangerous
death trap! I’m not talking just
about spending time with your
immediate family. Which one of these
vacation-related things leads to more deaths
per year on average, is it selfies
or falling coconuts? Ooh. Selfies are
certainly surging. Selfies are surging. – Certainly.
– Certainly. Look, they’re about to
fall off any second. Like, if I just pushed them…
they’d fall. Don’t do that ’cause it might
open up and show you the answer. Don’t do that. – Oh.
– Don’t hit it too hard. No, no, no, don’t hit it
too hard, man. I have no pride. Which one kills more? You know what?
Shoot, man, I think selfies are
surging, certainly, but they haven’t
surpassed… “soakanuts.” – All right,
you’re going with coconuts.
– Coconuts be falling, y’all! All right, show him
how many people die
from coconuts every year. 150! – Yeah.
– Deadly, what? Head injury,
you’re gone. And how many
from selfies? – 12? But…
– Only 12! …it is
certainly surging. Link, I’m sorry,
you still lost. You know,
dying by coconut is horrible, but I still would
rather die that way than have
a coconut LaCroix. And I also get
this handy dandy PFD I’ll wear the rest
of the day. Thanks for liking,
commenting and subscribing. Chase, you say, “You know
what time it is,” like a gator. ( gruff )
You know what time it is. ( laughter ) My name’s Renee
and I’m an archeologist working out
in the Mojave Desert. That is a petroglyph, and it’s time to spin
the Wheel of Mythicality! Even archeologists
watch this show. – Yeah!
– Click the bottom link to watch the episode
from the beginning. And click the top link
to watch us make Meat Everest
breakfast sandwiches out of our non-vegan scraps
in “Good Mythical More!” And to find out where the Wheel
of Mythicality is going to land.It’d be a deadly mistake
not to buy our GMM pins,
available at
mythical.store.

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