Unusual Assassination Attempts


these days if you don’t like a certain
president king or any other leader the only things you can legally do are
complain about them to your friends or spend your whole day angrily tweeting at
them both of which do absolutely nothing so some people decide to go a step
further and take things into their own hands now most of these assassination
attempts are the same guy gets a gun he shoots he misses and everyone goes home there’s no drama there’s no uniqueness if I’m going to see someone get killed
in broad daylight I want it to be creative god damn it
thankfully they have been assassins in the past with some unique reasons and
ways to kill someone so let’s talk about the weirdest assassination attempts in
history before the video starts only around 25% of the people who watch me
and subscribed so if you aren’t subscribed please consider subscribing
to the channel it’s free and helps the channel up anyways back to the video our
first attempt was in the 200s jinke was a wandering Schwartzman at the time
which is basically the ubereats of killing people
apparently assassinations were so common at the time that this was an actual
career choice at the time China was broken up into many regions and the
biggest boy of the bunch was going after the smaller kingdom so the Prince of
that region hired Jinky to kill the king of the big region King Zheng now killing
such an important target would be hard but $20 is $20
so Jinky head out to do the job he reached the king and tried to swing at
him but after a short sword fight with Zheng jinke was eventually wounded and
taken away to be executed despite is one stead of view the prince unfortunately
didn’t get a refund but our story doesn’t end there
you see when Jinky was executed Zhuang wanted all of Jinky his friends to be
killed – and that included this one guy called Kao Jian Li he was a musician and
his favorite instrument was the lute which apparently isn’t a flute with six
knots but rather an instrument that looks like a guitar with a spinal
fracture when Jinky was killed he had to go into hiding to protect himself he
stopped being a musician for a few years until he thought well there’s no harm in
playing the lute again right I mean it’s not like King Zhuang is going to listen
to it or anything so he played his lute and people liked it so much that you
guessed it he was sent right to King Zhang’s pal
the King immediately recognized who God was and was gonna kill him but was
impressed by GAO’s music skills so he decided to spare his life just kidding
he took his fucking eyes out yeah then became the Royal musician but he was
still really angry about the whole killing your best friend and taking over
the kingdom and then blinding you and forcing you to play music thing and he
wanted revenge the king would let Gao sit really close to him while he played
so one day God decided to take the opportunity King Zhuang you killed my
best friend you took over my kingdom and you blinded
me for that I’m going to kill you are you sure you’re facing the right way the some reason God thought it would be
a good idea to try to swing at the king despite the fact that a lute was
basically the size of a ukulele and probably would have just given the king
a mild headache and also the fact that Gao couldn’t see shit Gao unfortunately
couldn’t feel his way out of this mess and so King Zhuang decided to finally
execute him the next attempt happened in the 1800’s giuseppe fierce ki was born
on the island of corsica in france and he spent his whole childhood as a
shepherd he had two brothers but one of them died while the other one couldn’t
speak so it’s safe to say he didn’t have a lot of people to talk to he joined the
army fought in war blah blah blah and he also had an affair with a stepdaughter
so that’s pretty cool anyways after all that he decided that he was going to
kill the King of France Louis Philippe won why I don’t know the guy grew up
talking to sheep and fucks kids so I’d be surprised if he didn’t end up killing
someone eventually so he went out to buy a gun hello sir I want a gun what for I
can’t tell you come on I promise I won’t tell anyone okay fine
I’m gonna kill the king wait what of course I won’t give you a gun oh really
you’re gonna need two guns oh okay then thanks but wait what if your guns get
jammed you definitely need a third one of
alright I’ll take that but what if all three don’t work you must get a fourth
one but wait you’re 24 guns might just fall apart you should get a 25th one
just in case ok I think that’s enough how much is all this that’ll be ten
thousand dollars ok then here you go are you really sure I need all these guns what I guess Giuseppe was worried that
he’d miss his shot so he bought 25 guns and his plan was to hook them all up so
they all fired at the same time apparently nobody bothered to ask him
why he had that many guns but to be fair if I saw Giuseppe the sheep with Fring
pedophile carrying a bunch of deadly weapons I’d probably just mind my own
business he build the whole thing himself and then pointed it out of the
window of his house onto the street down below where the King would be passing by
in a few days finally on the 20th of July Giuseppe got his chance the King
was walking along the street along with a bunch of his officers and when they
got close Giuseppe fired the gun the gun this felt being a Psychopaths
DIY project managed to somehow shoot around 400 bullets in the Kings
direction the bullets killed 18 people approximately zero of them were the King
which either meant that the King got some connections in heaven all that
giuseppe’s gun was as accurate as me trying to kill anyone in a shooter game
in fact the King managed to pull an owner reverse card and Giuseppe got hurt
more than the king some of the battles of the gun backfired and Giuseppe got
serious injuries on his face and hands while the king was completely fine and
just continued with his day which is such a fucking Power Move Giuseppe was
captured pretty quickly after that I mean the guy had half his face blown off
so finding him probably wasn’t that hard and a few days later he was executed by
the guillotine the model of the story is if you’re gonna kill someone don’t use a
weapon that I would have made up in kindergarten annex assassination
happened in the eighteen hundreds – in the good old US of A which is had loads
of assassination attempts in the past I really can’t tell why unlike the last
guy Richard Lawrence was perfectly normal growing up he was born in England
moved to the US did well at school it was all going so great then he started
huffing paint and everything went to shit he got a job as a painter and the
paints back then contained lead and Mercury unit for decoration not the best
for healthy brain function these chemicals made Richard Lawrence believe
that he was actually Richard the third of England who keep in mind had been
dead for around 300 years at this point he quit his painting job inside buying
really expensive clothes and stood outside his house doing nothing for
hours on end he also had the habit of trying to kill anyone who laughed at him
or disagreed with him so he waste his money does nothing and kills his
opponents exactly what a real King would do now you might be asking if he was
buying all this expensive stuff why did he quit his job well that’s because he
believed that the US government owed him loads of money and the only thing in his
way was the president at the time Andrew Jackson so undeterred the end of January
as Jackson was leaving a funeral Richard Lawrence confronted him good day
to you mr. Jackson it is I Richard the third
King of England and I am here to kill you prepare to die no worries I came
ready for this prepare to die again both of Richard’s guns failed to work
so Andrew Jackson proceeded to beat the shit out of him with the skin
Richard was finally put in a mental hospital for this I guess thinking
you’re a dead Indian King just was that a good enough reason and he eventually
died there in 1861 a last assassin nation attempt wasn’t done by an addled
Emperor or an irate engineer but rather by the victim’s own son it was a year of
59 anita was the emperor of Rome but he still lived with his mom Agra Pina was
described as over watchful and over critical you know did you wash the
dishes Nero did you mow the lawn Nero I told
you to do your homework Nero you were supposed to clean your room
Nero where’s your report no did you get I’m gonna kill that goddamn woman Agri
Pina must have committed the cardinal sin of telling Nero to pause an online
game and as we all know the punishment for that is death
Nero consider just poisoning or stabbing her but it’s pretty hard to make
multiple holes in someone’s body look like an accident so he decided to get
more creative his first plan was to build a machine above her bed so that
when she decided to sleep the ceiling would fall onto her in Killough he set
everything up and it almost worked but then someone staged it on him and Agra
Pina found out to be fair I think she would have found out anyway
Nero then thought of another plan he paid someone to crash I’d rip in his
boat and then invited her onto a specially made boat as an apology now
it’s probably not the best idea to get on a boat with the guy who tried to kill
you just a few days ago but I agronomist a bit like Nero are you gonna kill me
what no I’d never do that yeah that’s good enough Nero’s new plan
was to have the ceiling of the board follow into her and hopefully killer I
mean if she saw it coming the first time I’m sure she’ll fall for it the second
time unfortunately for Nero the ceiling did
fall but miss Styger Pina and instead killed one of her servants Nero had to
come up with another plan quick so he decided to sink the whole boat with
everyone in it so he could kill a group in him seems a bit excessive but this is
the same guy who burned down half of wrong to build a new palace so I don’t
think he cares that much about a few extra dead people so he ordered the
captain to make a hole so the boat would sink finally the boats going under
there’s no way a groupie and I can get out of this wait what is she doing so it
appears to me that she is escaping what how is she doing that the boat is
sinking yes sir but it looks like she knows how to swim Oh forgot about that
yep was really expensive thank you Pina
managed to escape death once again and so I’m safely to shore at this point
even Nero realized that he was absolutely shit at killing people and
just hide some real assassins to do it for him instead model of the story is
when being creative doesn’t work all you need is a knife see yeah those are some
of the weirdest failed assassination attempts in history and now a joke from
our patron how many nice guys does it take to screw
in a lightbulb none they’ll just complement it a bunch and
then call it a whore when it won’t screw anyways liked the video if you liked it
subscribe hit the bell leave a comment and check out some other videos in the
description I’ll see you guys later

12 Comments

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *