Scientists Discover Humanity’s Newest Ancestor, Homo Naledi


>>SCIENTISTS HAVE FOUND MORE
EVIDENCE OF OUR POSSIBLE ANCESTORS, AND THIS IS IN SOUTH
AFRICA. THEY FOUND IT IN A CAVE, VERY HARD TO REACH, 15 SPECIMENS
— ACTUALLY 1550 SPECIMENS DISCOVERED SINCE 2013, BUT THEY
THINK IT IS OF 15 INDIVIDUALS, AND IT APPEARS TO BE AN ANIMAL
THAT WAS IN THE HOMO FAMILY, AS IN US, HOMO SAPIENS. HOMO
ERECTUS. THEY PUT SOME SKULLS TOGETHER AND THEY HAVE SOME
FEATURES THAT WE DO, FOR EXAMPLE HANDS AND FEET THAT LOOK LIKE
MORE HUMAN, IN THE HOMO SPECIES, LIKE I SAID, BUT THEY HAVE
SHOULDERS AND SMALL BRAINS THAT REMIND US OF OUR APELIKE
ANCESTORS. THEY THINK IT MIGHT BE 2.5 TO 2.8 MILLION YEARS
OLD, BUT THEY ARE NOT ENTIRELY POSITIVE, AND THIS IS JUST THE
BEGINNING OF THE RESEARCH. OTHER RESEARCHERS THINKS IT MIGHT BE
PART OF THE HOMO ERECTUS FAMILY AND THEREFORE NOT A BIG DEAL.
THESE RESEARCHERS BELIEVE IT IS A NEW SPECIES CALLED HOMO
NALEDI. IT MIGHT BE ANOTHER LINK BETWEEN US
AND OUR ANCESTORS WHO WERE APES, OF COURSE. I LIKE THIS STORY
BECAUSE NUMBER ONE, EVOLUTION! I ALWAYS LOVE IT, MAN. FACTS BEAT
NONSENSE IN THE REAL WORLD, AND EVOLUTION IS GREAT, LET’S PUT IT
THAT WAY. REASONABLE PEOPLE CAN AGREE TO THAT. WHETHER IT
BELONGS IN HOMO ERECTUS, HOMO NELADI, IT IS GREAT, KNOWLEDGE
IS FANTASTIC. POINT NUMBER TWO, THIS WILL MAKE REPUBLICANS’ HEAD
EXPLODE IN A COUPLE OF WAYS. IT TURNS OUT WE ARE ALL HOMOS. WHAT
ARE YOU CALLING ME? HOMO SAPIENS? DO THAT TRICK TO A
REPUBLICAN IN YOUR HOMETOWN. YOU THINK COME ON, THAT IS THE
OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK. THEY WILL NOT FALL FOR IT. THEY WILL
FALL FOR IT AND THEY’LL SAY, [SPITTOON SOUND EFFECT]. HEY
CONSERVATIVES, WE ALL CAME OUT OF AFRICA. THAT MEANS WE ARE
ALL, IN A SENSE, IF YOU GO BACK FAR ENOUGH, AFRICAN-AMERICANS. A
SAD DAY FOR YOU, BROTHER, BUT THAT IS THE REALITY. YOU DON’T
LIKE FACTS, THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, NOT OUR PROBLEM.

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