[PWLG] Plays: Cards Against Humanity {Event Night}

Liz>>What bought the orgy to a grinding halt? Tory/Hydra/Kuser>>Bestiality? Bad Andrew>>Nah- I was just thinkin’ keep going. *Laughter* Tory>>Yay! I don’t know how I got that card twice, but, yay! Lexie>>So, wait- ___ was actually ___? Wow. I did not see that one coming. Riley>>So, wait- God was actually a vagina that leads to another dimension? Wow. I did not see that one coming. Chris/Orbital Banana>>Uh.. I see what she did there. Riley>>Wait- Spock was actually Space Muffins? I didn’t see that coming. Riley>>So, wait- A Japanese School Girl covered head to toe in semen was actually a bleached Lego block?I I did see that coming. *laughter* Riley>>So, Mewtwo was actually picking up girls at the abortion clinic? I didn’t see that one coming. Riley>>So, wait- A robust Mongoloid was actually a cop who is also a dog? Riley>>An oversized Lolipop was actually.. Riley>>Gogurt was actually nun-chuck moves. I’ve done that *mumble*. I believe that. Riley>>*stutter* I. I’m sorry, but, um.. I gotta pick. gotta pick.. this.. *cuts out* *Lexie mumbles* FUCK! *laughter* Kuser>>It Lurks in the night, it hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from ___ Lexie>>Kirino’s Ass *Mumbo Jumbo from teh one and only Lexie* Lexie>>Being a Busy Adult with Many Important things to do. Lexie>>King! King! King! Gainer! *Does the Monkey* Lexie>>A Hello Kitty Vibrator Lexie>>Undead Body Swapping Space Vampire Teens Lexie>>A Lamprey Swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint. Lexie>>And, Exploding Pigeons. Lexie>>A Hello Kitty Vibrator. Hydra>>A Hello Kitty Vibrator Lurks in the night hungry for flesh! Hail Hydra!>>The Five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, ___, and acceptance. Lexie>>Sexual Humiliation. Tory>>Stabbing the Shit out of a Capri Sun. Tory>>Definitely Comes After Bargaining Hydra>>Death Note Lexie>>A Murder Most Fowl Tory>>Existing Tory>>Denial, anger, bargaining, existing, acceptance Riley>>Oh Fuck. I.. I’m a bad person. Riley>>I always had a crush on Kim, Lexie>>I think we all did. Hydra>>Whatever turns you on, big guy. 😉 Tory>>Fisting Hydra>>Incest! Riley>>Make a megazorg out of incest. Riley>>Could you imagine that? Just be like a brother and sister in like a giant mech. Chris>>Obligated to not fuck teens.. Riley>>Let’s see how you handle Moses gargling Jesus’ balls while Shiva and the Buddah penetrate his divine hand holes. Riley>>Let’s see how well you handle.. *garble bargle turkey mouth noises* Riley>>And, I know I pronounced that wrong. Riley>>A peaceful and non-threatening rise.. *mic cuts out* Riley>>A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, and my lobido. Riley>>*in an odd impression of Nirvana* Entertain us! Here we are now. Riley>>Krampus:The Austrian Christmas Mon.. *wish his mic would quit frickin’ cutting out!* Riley>>I need to Google that. Riley>>Dancing with a broom Lexie>>Bad Andre got it. Banana>>Fuckin’ Andrew. Riley>>Damn you, Bad Andrew. What’s that? Twice? Lexie>>There’s guilty pleasures and then there’s __ Liz>>Robots with tits Bad Andrew>>Slapping a Racist old lady Bad Andrew mumbling. What’s that about stereotypes and cool? Bad Andrew>>Blowing some dudes in an alley. Tory>>Robots with tits Riley>>YEAH! Bad Andrew:It- It’s probably gonna be that one… Yeah. yeah….it’s robots with tits. Lexie>>Rip the falcon got that. Lexie>>Alright! Tory: Ahh man.. Andrew, It’s on! Bad Andrew:Competition Lexie>>.. Paper money as a distant memory, how will we be paying for goods and services? Lexie>>Jizzing Into Santa’s Beard Lexie>>The female orgasm Lexie>>Child Protection Services Tory>>A thousand years of pain Tory>>Weapon grade plutonium Andrew>>Yeah, it’s like the only one that makes any sense. Lexie>>How did I lose my virginity? Liz>>Cause, What the fuck? Tory>>You knew it was Andrews. You knew it was.. Liz>>Oh,I know it was.. Riley>>Frickin’.. Jerk off.. Something about killing William Shatner?Help me out here, Bad Andrew.=P Riley>>’Fraid to pick it because Bad Andrew is probably gonna get the point. Riley>>Uh… I’m gonna regret this.. Oh, Yay! Andrew>>What does Bad Andrew like to think about during sex? Lexie>>Fucking a corpse back to life. Lexie>>A subscription to Men’s Fitness. Tory>>A for real lizard that spits blood from its eyes. Bad Andrew: I don’t wanna pick any of these.. Tory>>All I can think about is a subscription to Men’s Fitness.. Logan>>You better make this good.. Tory>>Oh, it’s gonna be real good. Just for you.. Lexie>>We have somebody named Bob in here. Tory>>Oh Baby Hydra>>Oh my god, it’s BOB! Kuser>>Gonna turn my knob to Bob. Logan>>Tory, No! Lexie>>Polish Bob’s knob. Tory>>Yep. Gonna polish his knob. Logan>>Okay, Bob. Play a card already, Hydra>>Pick your card, Bob! Logan>>Sometime today, Bob! Riley>>Primal ball slapping sex your parents have.. EW… Riley>>An ass disaster. Riley>>A spastic Nerd Riley>>A fetus. Riley. A fetus. I have to say that three times- a fetus. Riley>>Gandalf. Kim Jon Il. Tory>>I- I’m pretty sure I don’t want to find a fetus in my Chinese food. Tory>>*monotone* A room devoted to a defective condom. Riley>>Just one. Tory>>Just one. Tory>>YES! Hydra>>I really hope the Vatican has a secret room for the Thong Song. Max>>Oh. You guys are still playing, uh.. Cards.. Max>>Gotcha.. Riley>>Will Smith stuffed with Altar Boys. Riley>>Vladamir Putin’s favorite delicacy is powerful thighs stuffed with my collection of high tech.. *mic cuts out* Riley>>Free samples stuffed with men. Riley>>I’m gonna go with, um… Riley>>yeah, uh… I just like… Tory>>Can’t have enough dicks stuffed with cock! Max>>You’re going down, man. Maxx>>Don’t do it. Tory>>Racism! James/Gizmo>>Fabricating Statistics. Grave Robbing. The GREAT Cornholio.Flesh eating bacteria. Logan>>Wrecked. James>>Uh, I’m sorry. don’t hate me. Riley>>Yes! hahahah. hah. Riley>>World War 4 will be fought with breaking out into song and dance. Riley>>It will be fought with unicorn privilege. Riley>>It will be fought with a snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis. Logan>>Oh my. No… Riley>>My genitals Riley>>Spinning an axe in the air while cornholing a bear. Riley>>Fought with Shutting the fuck up. Riley>>You know we’re heading that way with all the freakin prescription pills. Bad Andrew>>Thermonuclear Detonation Tory>>Double. Penetration. Lexie>>Yes! That’s two games in a row. What the hell?

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