Patton Oswalt Hates When People Destroy A Starbucks Fixings Area


S HEY, EVERYBODY, WE’RE HERE
WITH PATSTON OSWALT, PATTON, YOU HAVE A NEW STAND UP TOUR CALLED
I LOVE EVERYTHING. DO YOU THOUGH?>>WELL.>>Stephen: SHARE SOME LOVE.>>YOU KNOW WHAT, STEVE,
SOMETIMES MY LOVE OF THINGS LEADS TO HATRED.>>Stephen: THAT IS EITHER
VERY DEEP OR VERY DUMB.>>THANK YOU. FOR INSTANCE, I WILL GIVE YOU AN
EXAMPLE. I LOVE A CLEAN AND ORDERLY
STARBUCKS FIXINGS AREA WITH YOU WILL A THE SUGARS AND MILK,.>>Stephen: CINNAMON AND STUFF
LIKE THAT.>>YES. AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS GOING
ON, PEOPLE, YOU GO TO THOSE STARBUCKS THINGS AND THEY, LIKE
DO THEY OPEN THE SUGAR AND KOOND OF– GO LIKE THIS AND DROP IT
DOWN AND THEY JUST KIND OF– IT LOOKS LIKE THEY WERE ADDING MILK
TO THEIR COFFEE BUT POURING IT IN THEIR PALM AND PUTTING
IT– TRYING TO– IT’S SO DISGUSTING, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN, IT DRIVES ME NUTS.>>Stephen: PEOPLE ARE
ANIMALS, THEY ARE ANIMALS.>>LOOK.>>Stephen: I HAVE SEEN
STADIUM BATHROOMS BATHROOM CLEANER THAN A FIXINGS AREA.>>THE STADIUM BATHROOM, YOU
HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR THAT TO BE MESS EEKS THERE IS A GAME GOING
ON, HAVE I TO GET BACK TO THE GAME, I’M A LITTLE DRUNK. WHO IS GOING ON AT STARBUCKS
WHERE YOU ARE JUST– LIKE PEM ARE RUNNING BY– DI– I DON’T
KNOW WHAT, THE STARBUCKS FIXINGS AREA, THAT IS THE ONLY TIE I
HAVE EVER GONE, I DON’T KNOW IF WE’RE GOING TO MAKE IT AS A
SPECIES. WE MIGHT ACTUALLY, WE’RE
CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO COLONIZE MARS. IF THIS IS HOW WE LEAVE, WE ARE
NOT GOING TO TERAFORM ANOTHER PLANET. IF YOU CAN’T THROW AWAY A SUGAR
IN THE RAW PACKET!>>Stephen: THANK YOU, MY
GUEST USING THE WORD TERAFORM.>>THANK YOU SO MUCH.>>Stephen: CHECK OUT PATTON
OS WALL– — OSWALT.COM FOR HIS TOUR DATES, PATTON OSWALT.COM,
EVERYBODY. WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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