HomeArticlesLOSING FAITH IN HUMANITY | Try Not To Cringe/Laugh #1
LOSING FAITH IN HUMANITY | Try Not To Cringe/Laugh #1
August 11, 2019
[High five – Whappish!]
Top of the morning to you laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye. and welcome to a Try Not To… Cringe, or Laugh, or… I dunno, these always turn into one or the other. *small chuckle* ”Try not to cringe ” and ” Try not to laugh ” are very close to being in the same spectrum as each other. But I’ve wanted to do one of these for the longest time, and I really wanted to do one when I saw Felix do one. because I- I- I always had the mindset that I was gonna be awful at these kind of things, Because when ever something cringy happens, my- it looks like I sucked on fourteen lemons all at once. (Jack, there are children watching! Stahp!) Or, like, I cannot see other people feel uncomfortable. if I see other people feel uncomfortable, I just start like, curling into a ball, and I’m awful. Whenever somebody tells me not to laugh, That’s all I can do is laugh. I can’t keep a straight face. And I’d always say that I’d make a terrible actor or something, Uh, so– And th- the reason I didn’t do one for ages is that I couldn’t find the right videos. but now I think I have a good- a good uh collection of videos that I can go through that might make me do one or the other so – again I don’t know what one- what to call this, ‘Try not to craugh’ challenge ‘Try not to linge’ *laughs* Let’s get going. Zen. Zen. Let’s do this. *laughs* Cause you know me, all I do is fucking giggle at everything, Okay, This one is called “Burn”. these might be more on the cringier side of things this one, this video is just called “Burn” – guy in video: It’s your life, take a chance.
– girl in video: I’ll take a chance when I’m ready. (Dog barks in background of the video) (laughs) oh sh-(laughs in the middle)-at! oh dude, take the fucking hint! Oh, you’re making her so uncomfortable. Ooh, dude, just let it go! Ooohhhhhh! Oh, lady just please leave, leave. Oh god dude, no, you’re being a creep. God Jesus Christ! One video in, and I can’t do it, oh god that was too much. See, that’s the kind of shit I’m talking about. I can’t do it. When other people are uncomfortable, it just make me, oh. I can- cause I can relate so much Not to the scenario that was just happening. But I can just put myself in other people’s positions really really well. Oh, that was awful. Oh god, dude that was so fucking creepy. (Laughs) Right, this one is from Survivor. I think this one should be okay. This is called Survivor, love at first sight. So hopefully it’s not as bad as the last one. That was a humdinger to start off on. God, I wish I knew like the rating of these How much cringe worthy or laugh worthy they are compared to the next. Okay, let’s go. “So like I was saying, I’m playing the game. That’s what I came here to do.” “My prize isn’t even the million dollars. My prize was that I – I fell in love in this game.” “Love at first sight. Her name is Candice.” – [girls laugh]
– “And, uh, in between…” – “Candice from [inaudable]?”
– “Yeah.” “At the last challenge, we sort of mouthed the words ‘I love you’ to one another” “and so that was my prize. My prize was her.” “I’m next” “We love you” “I love you” Ooohhh my goooddd! This isn’t count as cringing! I’m not cringing! No! Not at all! Oh my god that poor dude! Did he really think that the girls — the girl loved him, just cause they said ‘we love you.’ Aw that poor guy. Aw now I just feel bad for him. This one’s called “woman confronts waka flocka flame.” I I don’t know what that eah. (is) waka laka fong aeeaeaeaeryo with the freestyle bru bru bew bru bru bew That’s what it reminded me of when I heard it OK! [inhales deeply] Lets get in- thi- I’m just gonna fail miserably at this by the way…. It’s just gonna be how many times do I laugh in this video Ok, go. Girl in video: Waka Wazuuuuppp! Girl: wocka! What! What! What! What! [whisper] Ohhhhh nooooo…… [low voice] Ohhh noooo!! Oh that was so bad! Why doesn’t anyone stop her?! Why is she stickin’ her butt in his crotch! did she just end out with “he loves me”?!?!?! Oh gawd, she’s just like the last guy! Did he mouth the words “we love you”? And then all of a sudden you’re like, “Yeah, that’s love at first sight” “Ha, please don’t vote me off the island.” Uuggghhh that’s soo bad, why?! Why are humans like this? Announcer: “We’re out here standing room only in Lincoln, Nebraska It’ll be okay for Claudia Lawrence, Jamal’s mother, because she spent more time on her feet than in her seat. You have to be honest, who was more nervous before kickoff, you or Jamal?” Claudia: “I am, I am. Jamal was cool.” Announcer: “All his teammates said all you have to do is wait one quarter, maybe one and a half and then the country will know because there’s a big secret. Well, is the secret out?” Claudia: “The secret is, he’ll make it to the league. He’ll make the leap through.” Announcer: “The memories of, the murder of her husband back in 1995, Ron, are one thing but it’s the motivation…” Jack: OHHH NOOOO!! DUUUDDEE!!! OHHHH NOOOOO!!!! You just – OHHH! I was like “what the hell is going on, am I just not getting this?” “Is there a joke in there that I’m not hearing?” Ohh, the murder of her husband? Ohh, and you just see her face drain away. Announcer: “… of her husband back in 1995” Dude, don’t bring that up! OMG, you poor, poor woman. Adrian Karsten, wtf is wrong with you?! These aren’t making me cringe or laugh, they’re just making me feel horrible as a human. What’s wrong with our species?! Jesus! Well, actually, WE’RE okay. THAT dude’s a fucking moron. “CNN Live 30 Second Pitch with Kyra Phillips.” Kyra: “-and you’re very good with time. Alright, Richard Pachovsky, take it away.” Richard: “Hi, you’re looking for someone who has more than just a focus on technology.” Jack: Oh god, he looks like Billy West. Richard: “… for someone who has …” [silence] Jack: Ohhhh!!! Kyra: “Tell us, just speak to me, like we’re sitting at the dinner table. Go ahead Richard, what do you have? What can you offer?” Jack: Oohhh!! Ohhh Myyy Gaawwwdd!! – Kyra: “Go ahead, take it again.”
– Richard: “Okay.” Richard: “You’re looking for someone” Jack: Oohhh! Richard: not just technology savvy. Richard:” And the determination to do whatever it takes to get the job done.” – Kyra: “Fantastic Richard.”
– Richard: “Thank you, and…” Kyra: “Oh you, it’s okay you don’t have to thank us. We’re gonna move right on to Lyle Nasser.” Jack: F***ing — Richard’s the man! Richard, fuckin’ [clapping] round of applause for that dude. He was soo nervous! I felt so bad for him! He knew what he had to say, but just nerves got the better of him, you could see it in his face, he was so terrified. And then, he – [snap] – he got through it! And fair play to that lady, she let him finish. Richard Pachovsky, you’re the man! I – I believe in Richard! Richard is — not only was he terrified, but he overcame his fears, and he got through what he needed to do. “Try Not to Laugh or Cringe Challenge”? More like, “Get Inspired, People!” [laugh] Also, he looks like Billy West. The dude who does like… uum… The dude who does like, uh… Fry, and, erm, all the… the Professor from Futurama’s voice OH NO… This one’s called “Joe Biden creepy kiss of senator’s young daughter” *Gasp* OOOHHH… Oh it’s cringe factor 4 people! It’s- oh NO! OK. Ahh… *high pitched* It might not be so bad! *normal* It might not be so bad. *camera shutters in the back ground continuously* *Joe Biden laughs creepily* Girl: “Thank you.”
Biden: “Alright, well, nice to see you.” Jack: *In agony* OOOOOHHHHHHHHH Biden: “See you back home I hope. Okay.”
Senator: “Oh, absolutely!” Jack: WHAT WAS HE SAYING?!?! *video replays* OH! Oh oh! OH! NO! Eugh… I’m sure it’s just… worse… than it actually- i- it looks worse than it actually is But that young girl looks SO creeped out… And I heard something about 13-year-olds, and- *Gasp* OOOHHH!!! God, no, no NO, Joe Biden, why?… Nothing can be worse than that, surely! Mother of God… “Man Gets Removed From A Kindergarten concert”… Oh God, why is it all the child stuff together? *woman speaks in Spanish* Buenas noches y bienvenidos al concierto de kinder (Good Night And welcome to the kindergarten concert) Man in background: “ENGLISH ONLY! USA! ENGLISH ONLY USA!” *repeats* *crowd begins to boo* “ENGLISH ONLY! USA!” *Man continues with chant* “ENGLISH ONLY! USA!” Women:”Take him away! Get out!” Jack: OH YES! PLEASE, kick him da f*** out! “ENGLISH ONLY! USA!” Random guy: “Murica! :D” Jack: *Laughter* I like how that one dude is just like ‘Murica *Laughter* The ironic patriotism… *laughs more* *Laughter Oh, my God! *in spanish* El concierto que estamos preparando hoy para ustedes y sus hijos (The contest we’re preparing for you and your children today) *audience claps* *Jack claps* YEA! Good on that lady! *Applause* Holy shit! Fuck that dude! English only? REALLY? I thought America was a place with like, the most multi-cultured, like, spread of land… like the most- The biggest diversity of cultures! That’s what I’m trying to say. Aww… Cute puppy! Lady:”…Adopt her!” “Okay Charlie! I’m gonna sit here and just hang out with my new best friend Betina Charlie: “Really?”
Woman: “To weather. Oh yeah” Charlie:”I think you should- You two should get a… uhh…” “Get a hotel room or something *Laughter*
A lot of- Lot of action going on over there.” Woman: “Oh Charlie!” Charlie: “Probably the most action you’ve had in months, huh?” *Charlie laughs* Let’s take a look at the weather! *Chuckling and inaudible speech* *Whispering* Ooohhh nooo Charlie: Ahh, well, I crack myself up if I don’t crack anyone else *Laughter* 69° Nope I’m out I’m out! Nope. Ohhh… God! “Two women caught stealing a canopy on the beach, then attack” Man: “Is that yours?” Woman: “Oh!” “Yeah, but we don’t know how to do it…” Man: “Oh.” “You need some help?” Woman: “Do you know how to do it?” Man:”Yeah, this is our stuff” Woman: “This is yours!?!” Man:”Yes” Woman:”Wait a minute…” “this is ours..” Man: “No” “It is” “This is all ours” Woman: “Not the chair” Man: “Uh, all of it. The chairs, the bag… This is all our stuff” Woman: Wait a minute! “My kid’s. Yep. That’s my kid’s” “I’m sorry” “Yeah.” “We’ll let it slide, but I’m glad I-I made it in time-” Woman: “No! I’m not making it slide!” “I’m telling you…” Man: “No,” *Stutters* Woman: “Turn the god damn camera off!” Man:”No *Stutters again* No. Step away from my s***! How about that?” Woman:”You know what, I will, and then I’m gonna take that camera and put it in the grass? Oh you don’t like that?” *Whispering* What the fock? Woman:”Step back!” “Stop it!” *Man Chuckling* “Seriously?” Jack: What the f***!?! Oh my God I HATE people like that! Who are just completely blindsighted and caught absolutely red-handed Completely, and unabashedly caught red-handed And then they feel so awkward about themselves, that they feel like they have to lash out at somebody else because they have no idea how to handle the situation. *Gasp* Just, you did a s***ty thing. Just say “Okay, we’re sorry. We’ll move off,” and that’s it. The dude was cool! He wasn’t even gonna press charges or say that you were stealing or anything- or any- anything like that! But nope! You had to poke further Oh my God, WHY!?! What’s WRONG with humans!?! This one’s called “Botch Proposal” Oh, this might be it This might be where my face gets so cringey it sucks itself, right out through the back of my head, decapitating me. *Inaudible* People:”Jay…?” Jay: “Shut up…” “Shut up!” *drops ring into the water* Man: “Oh my God!!!” Jack: OOOHHH NNNOOO!!! Ohhh nooo! No! Noo!!! Oh it was supposed to be a beautiful mo- I thought the dude was just gonna do it cringily Or he was just gonna be really awkward and shy and everything Ahh no! He looks at her- but like- it’s not her fault she She-she hit it away by accident.. and she- she looked like she was gonna start crying and she feels just as bad Ohhh NOOO! OHH NOO! Why did I decide to do this??? I need to go into my Anti-Cringe Bunker “What is it you’re gonna do for us today?” Jack: oh god “…did you pay to learn” “Two Hundred Pounds” “Okay, good luck.” Woman:”Are you all alright?” People:”Yes” Woman: “No, you are all left.” *silence in the crowed* *three buzzers sounds* *Jack laughs hysterically* *Giggles* That poor fuckin’ woman. OHH. She had the balls to do it though! That’s what it’s all about! Who cares if she didn’t- If her joke wasn’t funny, or she didn’t win or anything. She had the gusto and the balls to get up there and do it in front of thousands of people. *claps* YEAH! Fair play to that lady! Last one, last one, we can do this. “Chuck Giampa fails Showbox Debut” “Also joining our broadcast team tonight, a man who had a long and distinguished career as a ring judge,” “over three thousand fights judge, one hundred thirty two were world championship matches.” Chuck Giampa:”Tonight I will be taking you inside the mind of a judge.” Chuck Giampa: “Tonight I will be taking you inside the mind of a judge.” “Yeah… s***” *Jack makes a baloon deflating sound* *Jack balloon still deflating*
“Alright so Chuck will be joining us tonight, and um his-” Ahhh, poor Chuck Giampa. Ohhh.. God, it’s not easy to do that. He’s not a reporter! He’s not a broadcaster! He’s just a judge! Who came on board to do this, it’s very nerve racking to do that stuff. Get up- It’s like- Imagine when you’re in school and you’re told you have to do a presentation you have to get up in front of the whole class and do a presentation. It’s not easy! He’s doin’ it in front of a bunch of people like that, that’s n- that’s hard. Lot’a people lookin’ at em Chuck Giampa.
*Starts clapping* Chuck Giampa, everybody! *Continues clapping.* K, well that does it for this ‘Try not to whatever Challenge’ Laugh… Cringe… Whatever, I think I did more cringing than laughing. ‘Try not to be ashamed of humanity challenge’ Some of those were horrible, some of those were so hard to get through, but others… Were oddly inspirational… Seein’ people get up and do that stuff in front of- Dozens of people, THOUSANDS of people and then get through- The stuff that they had to do, and then others I just felt really, really bad for- I don- Very few of them, except the first one Actually no, I still felt bad for that girl. Very few of them actually made me cringe, a lot of them just made me feel like: “Get the fuck out of the situation!” *Outro song starts to fade in*
Thank you guys so much for watching this video if you liked it, PUNCH that like button, IN THE FACE… LIKE A BOSS! And.. high-fives all around. *WAPPISH* *WAPPISH* Thank you guys and I will see all you dudes… IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!!
*Outro song fully fades in* ♪ I’m everywhere – Technoaxe ♪ Gonna have to go take a shower, or somethin’, or just get a pliers and pull my face back through the front of my OOH. That was bad…