HUMAN


Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to HUMAN! Now, yes I know! I-I don’t have my beard back yet! That’s not something that I can control! I don’t grow facial hair very quickly SO LET’S JUST MOVE ON AND DEAL WITH A FEW VIDEOS from the prepubescent larval stage of Markiplier and move on with our lives! ANYWAY! This game is called HUMAN And apparently, (GAME TEXT): The following footage was captured during an attempt to hack and record a government video stream. Previously captured footage suggests the man filming, “Paul” works for a secret sector of frequency testing facility, located deep in the Alaskan Wilderness. The program is no longer being funded, thus Paul is sent to notify the employees, and have them leave the premises as the supervisors monitor what unfolds once he arrives. I’ve taken the liberty of subtitling the video, But other than that this footage is completely untouched. (text reads: undoctored) So as you can see, we’re kind of in a “deep web” area of the game, As you can see by these lovely not quite working tabs up there. [We can’t see them Mark.] But this, is a horror game as you may have guessed GAME: Can you hear me, Paul? Alright, listen, I want you to get inside, find the workers, and notify them of our funding issue. If they ask any questions, we’ll get their equipment moved out later, just get them out of there for now. Then I want you to go to the back, find the antennas, and turn off the power supply. This is very important, do not forget this before you leave. MARK: Wait, I gotta go back and find the antennas and turn off the power supply? WHY AND HOW?! Oh god I’m playing Ohhhhhhh Ohhh yesss Oh yes please~ That snow actually looks legitimately good! This is made on the Unreal Engine, let’s just get that out of the way, me talking about the graphics of it Like, hey, looks good, like the style of it, looks pretty cool, let’s get into the thick of it! Now what I don’t know Is why I’m up in the Alaskan Wilderness or why there’s a base UP in the Alaskan Wilderness to begin with. And also, whoooooo am I working for again? Some secret sector of some not government agency trying to break into a government video stream? I’m not 100% sure what all that means but I’m gonna for it! I can sprint… And also, something about antennas! What the hell am I looking at? Oh! Man, those are stains! I thought those were like, drawings of people, like, with walking sticks and what not. Oh yeah this seems safe! No security checkpoint at all? No guard at the door. Just a one lit door in the middle of a funnel! It’s a fucking death funnel! It’s a chainlink death funnel pointing me into the death building where I gotta go turn off the death antennas! Alright, fine, whatever. Let’s do this. I ain’t no bitch! [singing] Helloo! Is anybody hooooooooome? Ah, that’s handy, yes. A flashlight. I-I do like when I have that thing. Okay…. [yelling] HELLO?! Seems awfully wet in here! There’s a lot of drips and noises happe- [cut off by game noise] Drips are getting louder… Okay. What kinda weird-ass building is this? Why is there no reception area? What the hell is this thing?! Is that an intercom or just a radio on the wall for ambiance? Eh, whatever. [footsteps] Is someone knocking? Oh, that’s me. Okay, nevermind. [reading text] Zeta Sector keycard required. Well I don’t have a Zeta Sector keycard. All I got is what I got on me. Hello? Is anybody have a Zeta- keycard?! Zeta Sector keycard?! [door opens in the distance] Ooooh shit. That wasn’t this door. What was that? Hello? I’d like to assume that I’m here alone but that would be illogical considering this should be a… …government facility… with people working! And possibly a lot of ’em. A-Also I can’t fathom what the point of these- [loud spooky noise] Y’know, I’m done questioning things! I get it! I understand! I’m about to die, I-I know this. I-I should just accept my fate! Keel over and just- kiss my ass goodbye. Helloooo. Oh? [reading game text] Although our focus in the past few years has been primarily an auroral research, We have observed a notable difference in climate since our research began nearly a decade ago, due to our experimentation. We can not say our antennas are capable of controlling climate or weather, but they certainly have the ability to influence changes in the on-ionosphere, thus modifying weather patterns slightly. I’d also like this particular research log to note, in the past few weeks the frequency output has been much higher, suggesting an atmospheric source is wirelessly feeding power to them. At the moment, we have not yet identified the source. Well that’s weird. An-antennas being powered from…. …space? Oh! Is that a Zeta Sector keycard I see?! I got a Zeta Sector Keycard! Nothing can possibly with thi- do I- ??? Okay. I’mma skedaddle. I’mma skedad- eeuuaa heeeeeey. Okay, I’ve been.. I’ve been stalked by a lot of things in my horror game days! But never have I had, A LOCKER, come after me. D-I give you bonus points just for creativity. What the Fff-Udge Oooh-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu OooOh okay! Oooh! OH! [Markiturtle returns] HI! I’m listening! Hello? Okee. Ehh Okay, maybe I- Maybe I didn’t take this as seriously as I should have. Oh boi Hello. ‘Xcuse me. I don’t know what that was. (SPOOKY NOISES) Alright everything’s fine. I think I farted, I’m not sure what that was. Okay? Uuuuuh-oaaaa! EXXX-CUSE ME?!? This game is expressly dicking with me. (Don’t ignore me.) I’m not ignoring you! I- I’m trying to pay attention very much! Kay. Helloo? Ohhhh OHHHhh! Oh here are the employees. Ohhh. (spooky noises) Is that me? (sniffle) Was I just clearing up some sniffles? Ohh. ooh Oh Okey Ah That’s not good. Oh, none of this is good. okey? okey oke alright (weird gasp) The fuck? Don’t be so noisy! Alright “All of our equipmeny has recently been turning off, all at once, as though we were a power surge. However, when the event occurs nothing unusual seems to be the cause. On a side note, we have been experiencing frequency interference in recent weeks. This has caused us to slow down research efforts, as we have no control over experimentation when this happens. Using one of our spectrograms, we have recorded an odd signal which we believe to be the source of the interference. Some of us suspect it could be Russian, others think it may just be excessive ambient energy. This doesn’t explain where it’s coming from however.” Well where is it coming from? Is it still space? Hey at least they have Stea- Oh that’s not Steam nevermind then. I thought that was Steam. (creepy moaning) Ahhh! Okaaayy? Ahhhhhugh Okaay (Driven to madness. Weak in mind. Useless) Are you talking about me or them? ‘Cause that could be either of us. Oh boy, oh no What am I gonna do? It’s blocked by an immovable desk. Eeuugh Ohh Oh no Oh noo OH no No no D: *mark wtf face* That’s not my footsteps. That’s not me. *another Mark wtf face* hmph sniff *noises of disapproval* I don’t like this. I got a bad feeling about this. *STATIC* *a frightened Mark* *sniffle* Hang on! My nose is runnin’. What was that? It was like a giant fuzzball *shouting at shadow* HEY COME BACK HERE! whatever the fuck you were Oh which way do I go Do I go where the fuzzball went or do I go to the door that’s probably not gonna go anywhere? *inhale* I’LL GO TO THE FUZZBALL *shouting at nothing* HEY! FUZZBITCH! Fuzzbutt! Nah that’s a cute name fuh- FUUUU CK YOUUU That’s what I’m gonna call ya (Your spirit shall break, but I will restore it.) Thank you? I suppose.. Not 100% sure if I should thank you… No- N- not even a little bit in fact, now that I know that there’s radios on this way I’m gonna go to the door and see what- *disturbed* that is blood. *dripping noises* Ah. ..Okay. Alright, just gonna ignore that.. That never happened.. Gonna try to go to this door over here. *static, scared Mark face* Theta sector keycard required! WELL SHIT Oh, thank you. That’s very convenient of you. I shoulda gone that way first. Hopefully no blood got in my hair then! (mark ur hair is red u can’t see it anyway lol) Eugh Helloo~ wooo- I saw that I wasn’t looking down there at first but I saw that Hello~ what do we have? Nice book! Nicola Tesla! And apparently this is red! Why is everything red? oOOOOH *still O: face, but silent* okay- I’m not an idiot! That wasn’t in front of me, and then- (yes it was mark) Was that in front of me?? (yes mark) *with conviction* That was NOT in front of me- THAT WASN’T- I- wha- I’m in a different place! *small voice* …okay… The frequency interference continues. We have not done any work for the past 4 days. No one has left. For some reason I feel as through we’re drawn to this place, we must stay. Sleep has been difficult. Our sanity seems to be slipping. I feel numb, yet cold. I feel I know less than I once did, my memories, my knowledge, my intelligence. What is this? I DON’T KNOW But apparently it’s affecting me too, which is even weirder. Like I gotta admit, I went into this because on the surface, it looked like, y’know, any other horror game that I’ve- goddamn it- I need to go back! WHERE AM I I don’t need to go that way! Oh- Geez Okey- yes here Because there was another one in here The frequency interference we’ve been experiencing seems to be coming from below the surface of the Earth. We’ve not yet pinpointed a location, but we are picking up more activity on our sonic monitoring equipment. I’ve not experienced this, but others here have been complaining of hearing high pitched ringing. Not in the ears, like tinnitus, but in their mind, as an internal sound they can’t seem to get rid of. Our theory is perhaps some the sensitive- some are sensitive to these frequencies. So much that it’s capable of physically or psychologically affecting them, perhaps. And then you go over here and it’s- HABOOSKI and then you’re over here.. and then you go over here… One more door I got- like I said, I gotta admit, I went into this going like, “oh this looks so typical” but this is really cool. ya not gonna talk to me now? Huh? You’re living a lie. They’ve lied to you Who’s lied to me?? Because the only one that’s talking to me is YOU and I have no idea who else wants me to turn off antennas over here.. Also what the hell is goin’ on here ooookay Let’s see.. I’m unsure of what’s real. I’m gonna upload this to our closed network because I’ve been instructed so you may read it. I see no point however. No research has been done. We’re waiting. We can’t leave. Why can’t we leave? I try and try, the door never gets any closer. This can’t be real. This is not reality. I don’t know if I’m hallucinating. It says there’s another world. So the voice is talking to you too. So the voice is something coming from underground that’s broadcasting a frequency that this new technology that they were trying to manipulate *small woosh* is affecting- *very low* euuh and apparently they cannot escape. euugh More blood! Don’t know why there’s so much BLOOD. BLEEDIN all over the place The way blood do okay- *somewhat faraway metallic noise* Don’t get up! No need to get up. It’s just me. Your.. buddy.. I got a Theta keycard, good. A door. It’s a door we’ve opened. The frequency. It communicates with us. We brought it here and you knew it was going to happen. We can’t leave cause it- -its not lett us leave. You new this would happen. It’s a portal. takes your mind. not mine any more Oh. Ohh Anybody over here? No? AGAIN My- my footsteps are very slappy! ooh eh D: *slightly louder steps* Something is behind me There’s two sets of footprints walking at the same time *more steps, as Mark described* D: *small voice* somethin’s behind me…. *louder* something’s behind me. OOHkay Alright- Ah This- there’s my boots and then there’s that wet slappy I was wondering why it was so wet and slappy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) something’s behind me *exhale* *dripping noises* ‘kay, y’know what I’m- *LOUD SMASH, followed by ringing* Yeah, I’m okay. That d- that didn’t happen ho-kay so *growl/roar in the distance* I don’t know if that’s just in my mind but then again, if it is, that’s another really good thing about the design of this game, it’s because I’m pretty sure there something walking, like, immediately behind me. It’s totally not cool but my- what is that hullo!~ Hi! How are you doing? What are you doing? Who are you? Who are you and what are you?? And what is THAT Okay, goodbye! Oh no, you’re still there? *static* aaaahh-kay oh geez oh god OHH HI OHH, WHERE AM I You shall be immortal, if you endure. I don’t think I will! I don’t wanna be immortal if this is this life I have to live! Oh geez okay.. *static voice* I would not lie to you. All you know is a fabrication. Okay. But what if YOU’RE a fabrication?? Because I don’t- Well, I don’t KNOW you, but I know you’re talking to me. Maybe you’re not. Maybe everything is a goddamn lie. This is just darkness. I don’t like this. And what is that noise? ALSO IF YOU NOTICE THE MUSHY FOOTPRINTS BEHIND ME THEY AIN’T THERE NO MORE Yeah no more slaps! oh boy OH HI OHH HIII *static voice* Do you not yet question your reality? I- I DO A LITTLE BIT Y’know These symbols are a little OFF.. It feeds. came for my soul our soul. soul is not safe. any soul all soul. ..So what was down this way? If I may be so bo- -oh nothing. Oh it’s a whole lot of nothing. This- There’s nothing over here. The only way to go is over here and I gotta question my sanity. I’M NOT GONNA STEP IN THOSE eeuh Okay nevermind! I didn’t have a choice, apparently. It’s the only way to zip-zap-gokay nevermind then! Is this a puzzle or what’re we doin’ here? ooh that is.. weird It’s an odd sensation. Okay, I’m back at the beginning. Well that didn’t work. Where am I goin’? oh gosh okay so that wasn’t right I- I accidentally went the correct directions. heup No, that’s not one. oop OH! I- I made it. I think. I’m not sure, is this a triforce? of courage? Lost souls says goodbye. Okay *metallic creaking* It’s the haunted lockers come back to kill me! THEY SHAN’T HAVE- oh fuck oh FU- OH FUCK Ohh… ho my gaah~ Oh my god Oh *static voice* Existence consists of what you see before you. *static voice still* All else has been an illusion placed upon humanity by my enemy. Uhh..? *low metallic screeching, like a rusty swing* *metallic screeching intensifies* Uhhhh Uh Ahh okay.. Okay. *metallic screech starts to sound like static* ehh… *static voice* Join me. We shall reign once again. *static voice continues* You will be like a god. I dunno if that’s TRUE? Uh I really don’t know what to make of this. This is BIZARRE. This is WEIRD. *static voice* Yes. Follow. Follow. Do I have a choice here?? What would happen if I walked back? Nope, that doesn’t seem to do anything. OKAY ALRIGHT LET’S DO IT fo- whole hog here! (what mark) I’M READY! Embrace me with your open arms, I’m ready! I’ll be treated like a god, sure, okay *static voice* Closer. I- I’m getting as close as I can *static voice* Acquaint yourself. Acquaint myself.. ..with this? *Character shouts, Mark mimics* *static voice* My name is Lucifer. Your physical form shall be my home. I will roam freely in your dominion. *static voice* Humanity shall understand the illusion they live as true suffering engulfs them. *static voice* they shall bow before me. Oh. THAT WAS AWESOME! THAT WAS AWESOME! That was like AWESOME That was AWESOME THAT WAS AWESOME That was AMAZING And this game was FREE! *losing his mind* THAT WAS AWESOME!! I want a FULL game like that! That was SO COOL I mean, obviously they did the best they could with what they had, because there wasn’t any like, animation of enemy characters or anything like that, the most they had was like, things flying around- but for what they did, what they created, out of the sound and the environment, and the ambiance, and the story! Which was well written and well told! they did gooood~ That was GOOOOOD! That was really good! I don’t know if there’s another ending there. It didn’t seem like it, I was trying to go back and nothing was happening so Iiiii think that’s what it is, so either way! Thank you everybody so much for watching! This game is really really cool. I wanna see more of this from the developers, so I cannot wait for more, so Thank you everybody so much for watching, And as always, I will see you in the next video! BUH BYE!

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