How To Use Compassion When Dealing With Jerks


If you’re compassionate, are you
going to get plowed over by your nihilistically cruel boss? No. Well, if you act out
of compassion in a wise way, that shouldn’t happen because
you should have the composure to be able to tell the boss at the right time.
That was not a nice thing to do. So I think it’s important
because sometimes, you know and this is where the Buddhist
tradition insists that compassion should be combined with wisdom
because kindness alone is not the answer. But the Buddhist, the Tibetans
have an expression “idiot compassion.” Yes. Yeah. I mean we can
sometimes call it “misplaced compassion” but “idiot compassion”
is probably more … Much funnier, go with the second. Go with idiot. Just from a branding perspective
it is way better. I think you know that being
compassionate does not mean that you give in. But being
compassionate requires you to I mean what it does require is to
give the other person the benefit of the doubt that you
don’t immediately rush to judgment. That’s what we
normally tend to do. So you don’t immediately rush to
judgment. You give the other person the benefit of doubt, but on a closer look
if what the other person has done was not only mean but
actually done intentionally, then you do need to stand up.
But you can do so without losing your composure because you
understand the reason why this person did it, he or she is
doing it from a place of pain. And given the choice the person
may not want to do it. But sometimes because they’re in a
more powerful position they tend not to see that what they’re
doing is not the right thing.

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