How to Treat a Person with Disabilities, According to People with Disabilities

I don’t believe that I’m a burden. I don’t believe that
I’m an inconvenience. Society treats disabled people
as though they are less than. Say the word. You know, I’m disabled. It’s ok. Nobody ever wants to focus on
disability, because they think that it’s a bad thing. I don’t think that it’s a bad thing. My disability is called
larsson syndrome. It is a genetic joint
and muscle disorder. So I wear a tracheostomy tube, it helps breath and I have it- due to take vocal cord paralysis. I have cerebral palsy and
I walk with a walker. If you questions about that, happy to answer them. Sometimes strangers will just ask questions in a way that they act like entitled to my life story. Don’t immediately ask,
“What happened?” And the answer is nothing
happened and nothing is wrong. What happened implies that
it is something that I became. And it’s like, I’m not
interrupting your day by making these weird
comments and asking questions. “What is that?” Like “Why
do you need that?” And it’s not that I’m- embarrassed or ashamed, I’m not. And I will talk to you
about my disability. I talk about disability
all the time. I would prefer people didn’t pretend
like my disability doesn’t exist. No. I have a disability and
I’m okay with that. When you’re using terms
like differently abled, you’re actually erasing
the fact that disability is a part of my identity. Often times people say, “Oh my God, you’re so
inspirational.” or “You’re so brave and courageous.” I was in a gay bar. There were two men and like- and one of them started crying and then he comes up to
me and like hugs me. And I realize he’s crying at me. Another word for it
is inspiration porn. I don’t really feel that
brave and courageous for just going about my
day with my disability. If this video turns into
an inspiring video, I’m literally going to
start some problems. Thank you. Don’t make assumptions
about what I can and can’t do. It is assumed that we are not in
control of our bodies and that’s just complete bullshit. People often try to help me without asking first. The correct way to ask if
somebody would like help is to say, “Would you
like some help?” The next step is to say, “What is
the best way to help you?” For example, if I’m putting
my coat on in public- I have a certain way of
putting my coat on and then someone will come up, grab the coat, while I’m in the middle of putting it on, and say “Oh, let me help you with that.” And I said “How about you say,
can I help you with that?” Ask, ask, ask, and don’t
assume that you know There are a lot of questions
about what you can and can’t do in the bedroom. There are just kind ways
to frame those questions. Basically saying like,
“Can you get hard?” That’s not going to
make me want you. Unless you’re really hot and
then I’ll find a way to like. Just more people need to look
at themselves and be like, “Why is it that I’m writing
off this person, just because of their disability.” Is my being in a wheelchair really
going to make me so different than any of the other people
that you go on a date with? Give it a shot. This is maybe new territory for you, you may never have gone out on a date with a disabled person. You may never even
have considered that you might want to go on a date
with a disabled person. You should consider that,
we’re hot, and we’re sexy and we’re really nice people,
we’re good people.


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