First Twitch Stream – Cards against Humanity!


That’s streaming it’s streaming guys. It’s starting up There we go live all right all right start game I’m hearing everything like over and over don’t Know what’s happening? What is life? Oh, No there’s my voice? That’s (I’m really sorry about my terrible mic guys, I’m going to do something about it next stream.) It is near the stream and just just ignore it pretty much All right, you’re gonna do this mate yeah, I’m enabling we’re gonna come in again the cards. Yes, of course I need to disable the holiday shit, which I enabled for some reason why is the game say, it’s Counter Strike global Offensive Should not say that I’ll refresh Now it says Kai’s against humanity with yes, go I’ve ever played I don’t Streaming my screen so it’s Okay, Oh monkey hello, sorry oh, no, I just realized how much pressure this game always puts on you when you every others are not a good game for streaming again um go Navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to blank Mine actually makes sense Why was that pause so long? I was just waiting for someone to say something, but nothing was happening Oh Righty-o by the way I can see your choice I’m gonna open this dream I’m gonna make it that I can only see the amount of use just so I can see if we get one view Every go to view Relatable cancer teens no show that works German dungeon boy really gets them going Management solutions genetic see since its synergistic. What is that were? In the maze that the dungeon porn was filmed in Blank to the people of high tea High tea Ivan oh Hey Heidi Right I don’t even know who’s Sean Penn is never Dora Who cares if you know makes my god perfect? The earthquake killed them Billy to the people why ET after the earthquake Sean Penn bought the burners of the elderly to the people of Haiti after the earthquake Sean Penn bought advice from a wise old black man to the people of Haiti, ooh This one Yeah, yeah It works though. I mean people die in an earthquake. I usually we wink and then realize afterwards you can actually Serve but we don’t allow plank at the Country Club I’m sorry sir How terribly the name Sean is spelt As YY is like where did it yeah what the fuck do pronounce bean as B? We can imagine if Sean the sheeps name was spelt like that freaking Fucking millions of five-year-olds all over the planet would be pronouncing it at the scene the Sheep After months of practice Frank, I think I’m finally ready for blank After months of practice with absolutely nothing I think I’m finally ready for streaming Nice For 92.5 After months of practice with anal beads I think I’m finally ready for a can of whoop-ass After months of practice with flightless birds, I think I’m finally ready for kamikaze pilots During my first D&D During my first game of D&D I accidentally summoned Mine works, it’s not that funny, but a lot of mine works During my first game of D&D. I accidentally sell it my inner demons During my first game of D&D I accidentally summoned the gays during my first love me and Dee I accidentally summoned that me sweet spaceship I See one of the first time Mr.. Majestic Batman has nothing Do not fuck with me. I am literally blank right now oh You got that one Yeah, oh right that’s always happens you always have one that’s perfect whenever you’re the fucking Czar oh Dude I just looked at one of my cards in its heart instant regret oh Dude oh god, I placed oh Yeah, that is instant It’s uh huh? No. I’m gonna use it later, and you’re gonna say you’re gonna recognize. This is the one that paid Just looking at it makes me hurt By Peter Pan right now do not fuck with me. I am literally ileum No, I told you I didn’t play the one I was talking about Okay grace is innocent so we have to play we have to play cards that are innocent in order to win I have a spam message from someone I don’t I don’t see there’s more people on the stream That he’s just freaking said I’m watching you like I just got a random ass message. I’m watching A big you are featured on the stream frickin steam chat is there? Well you know now are you proud The most controversial game at PAX this year is an 8 and the performer a bad blank So they said this court message now This 3 it says it says in general when people follow. I forgot I set that up alright Who is the last person gee monkey gun? 8-bit indie platformer about Sake About wiping her but the most controversial game is an 8-bit indie platformer about police brutality They’re just called in America Now I regret that yeah, that was me oh So it seems it doesn’t doesn’t update for me the The amount of views although it did or some reason it was three views for ages I didn’t come up until I refresh I’m the chair Here is the church here is the steeple open the doors, and there is that it’s a steeple I know I had no idea what it was. I just give them my best shot And there is the milkman here is the church here is the steeple open the doors and there is blowjobs for everyone Is sepal no open the doors there is distance if you’re being photo recommend TM Who’s fucking? Oh god? We’re gonna go for I’m not sure you’re gonna get blowjobs in a church But it would be nice Priest he’s the one getting the blowjob everyone is the people kid I? Was just happy that I realized I Forgot that I want to save and I think it’s gonna be good if I can like find the perfect opportunity to play it As part of my contract Prince won’t perform without shapeshifters in his dressing room Prince won’t know a racist because I’m a vassal innocent anyway, so Vassal vagina in his joy Really that was the best one man okay now, I think of it yeah You know I’m gonna. I’m gonna play the one that I’m that is pain Maybe we lost all the views because we had three viewers. I’ll have you know which One was me one was Nathan and then one was a random the random left because you’re so loud Yeah, I’m going to lower the mic volume on my can’t Even Nathan’s left the stream now. It’s just me Wow really good conversation here, man Who is he on this blind date with Dad why is dad Touch you If you need him to Reni danto Remnick Remy Danton can pull some strings and get you blank little Kostya Well you should be it’s just wait at the moment, and I don’t like white Oh Dead parents That’s nice disappointing salad. I mean isn’t that you smell in general Sexual no Okay, no not that one screw that one. We’re going for just to sell it it’s so disappointing It’s disappointing in its own nature as disappointing on it as well. Just work I Went To the desert and edenal the peopIe it turns out my spirit Oh It’s gonna be great ah Better I don’t have any really good ones for this one rocky monkey a dollar so I Went to the desert and ate your supplier that might very Much how do I win? What’s marky-mark and Maricruz v. And depths of the Amazon Well here Twitter’s obviously just to do the episode then go to his lovely company lovely steak yes that one Yeah That’s your job mate no your And his wits This isn’t man well bear grows must survive indefinitely Mazon with only goodbye – wait. This is an enema twelve egg roll. That’s fun that’s an Amazon with only there’s so many ridiculous destination and is BS anything there’s nuclear stuff alike I don’t think there was any um depth of the Animas on to survive Oh Sorry when AF kin didn’t tell anyone is you know You don’t have the right voice foot maybe it’s because your microphone is terrible though. Maybe it’s completely That unentertaining to you you have to find some Maybe because you’re so loud Alright, I think maybe it’s just maybe you’re not so loud your microphones. Just terrible it breaks every two seconds Okay, have we got a winner? Why do I keep on winning this I Can’t sleep at night well 50,000 volts straight to the Nettles Sitting my village burned and my family’s loaded before my ass child abuse Think we’re gonna have to go for the saddest one I’m just imagining an image of a sad little child looking cold up being Wade Caden is that you Tom doesn’t only touch you And we’re here for you mate, and would you like buffalo wings mild hot or blank? Obese, okay, I’m gonna do one for Caden. This is for Caden I Do fly wings my own when I’m lost or spontaneous human combustion Would you like buffalo wings good or daddy issues? Thanks, man and would you like to buffalo wings mild? or reverse cowgirl That’s a nice little mean thing yeah Yeah Wait, what was reverse cowgirl? What about it? I was thinking Just you’re just guessing completely randomly that maybe We need bob ross bob ross is good yes Yes Ross Jeff Jeff Goldblum Yeah, I think I could keep bossa man, I’m not saying that just because he did Batman What did you say you say you don’t know who Mike You’re lucky, I don’t know where you live Not though I the vulture yay finally Do you have toilet paper rolls going over or under what? Let’s see my mom does for one Week 10 milliseconds is away We’re not gonna be able to play until he comes back hi guys wait what? I’ve just realized that I just heard that twice because the stream had goat sound back Muscle Did you just not pick mine because you know it was mine With enough time and pressure Blanc will turn into alternate Simon Wow good job yours must be so smart a Mouthful of potato salad I didn’t I didn’t mean to it’s on my other screen like glanced Alright um enough time and pressure sexy will turn into whipping a disobedient slave that is a Do you like get them over to your party? Enough time and pressure dublin’s will turn into the miracle of childbirth with enough time in frescia hopi diapers Mode or i’m gonna have to go with the horrible keeping someone as a slave It doesn’t even make sense a mouthful of potato soon Everyone down on the crown anyone. We’re just here for blank wow that was really like you got into that character that man Just mean rape my ears Well turns out rob you with one of the viewers We have a total of three viewers at the moment, I think you’re famous no I’m the only thing bother Everyone down on the ground we don’t want to hurt anyone we’re just here for natural male enhancement Everybody down on the ground. We don’t want to hurt anyone we’re just here for poor people Everyone down on the ground. We don’t just lost two viewers angel headed hipsters burning for the ancient. Heavenly that was way up To the starry dynamo in the machinery of night, is that an actual card That’s the blank type in because it’ll show it on the card What all over because I just got run over by a truck Righty then Bank of me me I’m wearing a me me share notes name What is what’s happening right now, are we just making noises? Making noise Okay dangerous men you in A minute right I’m saying The pills bitches white people in crippling debt I Mean I had those combination of things No, it’s crippling debt because no one has any money anymore Can’t sell yourself men you’re gonna. Be everyone’s bitch. That’s how it works those two combined I just convinced you to Ran by pimps black pimps life’s pretty tough in the fast lane. That’s why I never leave the house without Is that one viewer someone we know or is it a random Bitch is thirsty Without a pyramid of severed heads viagra turning the rivers into red, but sorry viagra gonna be Falling behind man, this is not acceptable Hey, what about me? Huh? Or getting in better I’ve been living black with Allah I’ve been living this blank for twenty years I Cannot speak Wow I just had a terrible idea I Believe you saved viagra I’m just gonna have to go for men Haha Don’t worry. It’s getting it gets better. I’ve been living with well 20 years. I’ve been living with Howard and I just made the rise when you show that one viewers me We had a second viewer for a while no one stays around for long we did get a compliment though We got a little would have a seat. Yeah, we gotta seems good Yeah man sure from random David. It’s pretty good right 50, and then they left No, it doesn’t keep the chat for some reason When you reload it? Hey look he got me as a viewer nice Five the kids these hills we’re getting involved with blank a sense of uh Leo Chiba Joe Shuster Isha are All getting involved with looking things to claim them as their own, so really our kids these days you’re getting involved with ominous What is lens I think it’s like a thing we give up something I know I know yeah you explain Something to enjoy like maybe you stop playing video games or something like that I Mean I use Sean Connery all the time. It’s gonna be tough to give up to give him good listener In his newest and most difficult stunt David Blaine must escape from like Wait there’s one views at the moment there was two it keeps on going between one and two he’s that other one, just Shingo yeah damnit I wanted she so many views wait Kate Can can you keep it? No eye on all of your out who’s doing abuse? Yeah, I was gonna say darn Go on it like let’s look a rule we don’t go on there and Don’t review it so that we don’t get confused then how we supposed to know how many fuse are there Logic does not work It is newest what’s done the infant Blaine must escape from woman suffrage David Blaine must escape from getting into high school reunion on Kate Kate ermine David Blaine escape from French who eat all the snacks Man you gonna share One maid’s book cry Cards Did max book cry The very disturbed man Makes book cry By the way, I told them your card was made before Why am I Nikki a fetus We play Well that’s gonna affect a lot of people What happens Do you not have a hotkey for that shit man? Oh Okay Okay see how this internet Bank imma go to rubberband everywhere everywhere. I’m going to rubberband everywhere Chewing that’s off-limits Today oh, we know it a whim the way The most cringy out of all of us must be can go yeah Yeah, I agree with you So what are we playing? Definitely not Combined yeah Kota call it cringe er fortunately You know every time you won’t you know Oh? Interesting it’s Translate page Watching this show on ABC me episode of Japanese going going gone. Yeah Yeah, um basically. It’s a game show on ABC 3 that’s very very fucking racist okay, and and basically what happens is people do a bunch of challenges and Then if they lose they get kicked out while them will kicked out through the mystery door, and they were saying oh, I wonder What’s on the other side my comment? testicles wait Tentacles I put your clan quote Good English Games ever connected failed retrying Shit I think your incident is just Well yeah, not completely, it’s just it’s it’s gone. It’s gone Maybe that’s because it’s shit women dirty And we’re in disguise My net has been updating here’s the storm in Senate or what do you think? It’s basically dota but with all of blizzards characters, okay? So there’s always watch characters in it – yeah over what Wow I don’t like mobile game at all, but yeah, it is better But you can’t play as Genji Endora so What you’re just gonna play Genji you mean Shit well hello to all of us If you are a new person welcome Very new it oh yeah Okay overwatch is now playable if you would like to file a complaint against By seeing how open he is don’t oh? Yeah, the one the one viewer heard that as well hey oh Oh And we just sitting and there’s another update you serious was there another update Going to and that’s not going to be fun That one under view you know What is Blizzard world one, dude oh My cousin going on about We will be thing remember cousin going on the best craze, and then you Back a musician. I just realized the whole time my own Stream is Bill Koch cards against humanity’ with no humor someone just joined in left way. They were looking Cream overwatch they were looking for cringe overwatch, and they got a black screen Oh All right 500 megabytes half dead is that on twitch it is good working This is annoying me my internet shit, I gotta go back to Grandma’s Internet in Brea yeah All right, I would bring the cookies I feel like eating a cookie man. Why are we talking about grandmas? Because I was at my grandma’s for the pop internet there was like better than you know Sorry just initializing, I will play an op-ed piece of chip doing my best remember my password, but it’s not Change the damn stream Yeah Call it half dead whoa laughs watch out. Oh wow, that’s that’s really beautiful people who are abroad Update Update Whatever to make a half dead lobby I Can do this I can remember my password many people do I’m gonna put it in my moment oh I just realized my my um my username I Okay I Know a genius, man We’ve got more views now than we were I can’t do that happy with me I said that and I look over and all the views are gone I’m launched in half It’s literally called the stream half dead well, Oh, what’s up, dates? Yeah? Currently my stream like what I’m saying of the stream is um loading a multiplayer Unlike tinky-winky died Sound like pinky would you die isn’t that a Teletubby? Yeah, they are What they call it stinky Winky this kind of sounds like a creepy with its the Broadcast the pus word we’re gonna get one extra person that won’t be shame and we probably won’t I don’t know if they’re gonna be bullets and going to Halsted What difficulty Normal maybe I have no idea. I’m what the difficulties are in this game easy medium and hard oh So this music in this game is quite obnoxious There we go turns off head ball, ah as in the popping of your head. I thought it was something about Right the first thing comes to my mind is what I think Okay, um so difficulty medium. We’ve had one viewer for a while now didn’t stand around. Hey, dude. That’s me Are you doing your own stream Water you occasionally had another guy pop in But Right away because we’re terrible Yeah, that was actually Well oh it’s just my intention so much Yes Whatever you know how to overwatch yes, I know the download has 16 megabytes to go What why have you left? I know terrible connection eight away. That’s why I’ve got terrible Because overwatch is update I’m a genius. Oh my over watches by overwatch is updated. Yeah, that’s about the same I the only one with internet good enough that overwatch has already finished. Dude your inset is unbelievably good like 94 megabits per second which is like 12 mega bytes? I did a test before and I got 12 megabits per second Then I retested it and I got a 6 well so my old finished It was at 170 kilobytes a second, maybe he didn’t know that it was kilobytes It’s usually about 70 kilobytes How does one live just internet, I know right what you just live with that Yeah, he managed to something yeah, and why didn’t what leave the game why did he leave the voice chat He probably had the car. They know swap upwe Babies in – Come on cheer up Into eight, Oh cheer up We’re gonna play at all oh Yeah, yeah, but jingo isn’t here yet who gives a shit watching the game Playing Hofstede the way, just realize that we’re even playing the game People into the game as we start Of course every room around us is the damn trap why don’t you put a timer on I said no timer Multiplayer Okay, I accidentally press candle the candle wax you accidentally press the candle yes Just words puts a candle unfamiliar Start yes, okay, so G is power G is throw shoot I know Um You know okay? How about we do a run without using issues like a that seems stupid and horrible I? Mean my boot yeah You can go was the one who lost his shoe in there and get all the one they ran in first No shoes no in blindly and hope not to die Can you run Lake anyone like that? That same stache no no chickening out you have to go in you live with your decisions see watch me I’m going to not going I’d even go in demonstrate how to By the way Looks like the streams lagging by the way, man That went well I Really should have seen that coming Okay this one say hey look. It’s on me. I just look at me. I’m a person Where you go ha I’m everything I regret Hey, I don’t we’re good okay wisp lit up so this is a slight problem, but not really at the same time And my shoe died I don’t regret that decision I don’t think Yeah, okay, just okay. That’s interesting whoa hi, bro Okay fricken wait am I okay? I found the safe room I know that shut up Why – wait, what what color is that yellow? What is the other me? The other means two traps around it What is this color mean three traps I Discovered when I died no, I discovered okay alright. That’s the one you chunky shoe into you yeah That’s that’s on the internet now, it’s forever there that you cheated That’s okay, I don’t give a shit, I didn’t actually care about your nose shoot the wrong world with my first play Blue does that mean that they’re all good yeah, I Like how just we can completely separate directions Does this one mean three trips three traps yes As the rest I haven’t run into any doctrine of those demon guy things Well splice I was extremely close, I nearly like that no mine That’s the edge of whoa you’re scary hey mr. Bad guy Yeah Lucky gun just run into one of the demon guys Well a bad guy how do you do? Dude, left is this green Yes, that’s great. Where’s that that means only one trap. Oh, I know that that’s definitely a child You know Go into this safe door Not a safe door All right wouldn’t is the screen yes, Green yeah one shirt? You found pod traps, I can’t that’s good. Well. You know the one you just walked into is the trap then What’s this one so you stand right in the damn middle that’s three That’s three chaps yeah, I’m good That’s bad Yeah, yeah bad bad No Does that trap ever stop What there’s like a little turbine thing? Probably not. What is it doing just? Yeah, now that doesn’t stop you have to avoid that because if you walk in there you are dead that’s bad Hey hey You used a shoe And I just uh my new powers man brain. That’s a trap by the way going in see I’m like Conan buy traps That’s good thing Well good luck have fun turn left don’t know I Didn’t know bro. That’s oh so trap. Yeah, but it’s the same sides. It’s safe one both sides trap It’s safe I Didn’t I just wanted. I just thought it was a trap. I might be able to get away with I was taking a risk I Knew you were wrong you’re an idiot It’s all new Ginga okay, oh Yeah, you did yeah found the exit and walked out stream looks quite laggy, yeah Wow I’ve been playing this the longest I’m the one who died first I know I Think you’re just shitty everything So there’s nothing you can do about the lagging on the stream. I don’t think no what’s it caused by your shitty no No, I’m pretty sure it’s actively this your end Jesus Christ I heard him and Then I thought he was in the room that we were in and I absolutely crapped out for it this game is so bad What it’s actually pretty good looking for like a fiddle game. That’s just made with like unity or something I know unity it’s like always good Oh The crazy guys got killed. Oh, this looks safe, let’s go yes That comes back It’s not safe, I’m gonna jump on your face for protection actually working. He’s burning and I’m not Wait no I jumped off he died he died no. He didn’t die get back here He burned I didn’t know that positive They were left alive because why not This ain’t free crap. I thought this game is the terrible game This game They’re capable control cuz I connected a Because I don’t want to run that game anymore Okay, let’s play overwatch. How is it done? Yeah? I finished two like ages ago Could have said something I did but then Hang on a second. I will be right back in one moment Dang it. I’m gonna get some food Okay I’ll fly so high up in the sky I don’t want your odd free music. I don’t want it no no You I Gotta go have dinner, so I’m gonna stop the stream there for now but you’ve been playing in the stream that entire time yes, ah Yeah, I’m gonna stop the stream for now and I’m going to go ahead Stream it yay And see the see you later to viewers if you are there See y’all later

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