Festive Dan vs. Phil – SANTA BANTER!


P: Hello DanAndPhilGAMES (D: Ho Ho Hello) P: little balls of tinsel. I just want to wrap you up put you into the tree D: A ball? What’s a ball of tinsel? P: And then a cat can… D: tinsel doesn’t come in balls P: ruined my flow now D: Baubles. P: Baubles.You little balls hanging from trees D: Angels on the top of our trees P: *laughing* Welcome back to DanAndPhilGAMES D: Just kidding P: Where you might have noticed we’ve decorated for Christmas!! D: Boom ba ba ba boom boom ba boom boom boom yeah P: I’m so excited by this. think we should do a little video… D: Umm They may have also P: Oh D: noticed the.. obnoxious Dan and Phil festive fashion as well P: Yeah. Hey, if you want one of these you can get them on danandphilshop D: They’re not just- I didn’t just knit this for myself. P: I did. It’s very cozy. D: *quietly* That’s not knitted. P: It’s very cozy. D: You’re full of lies P: But D: We’re doing a special thing P: We are! D: where you can get a Christmas card! P: Look at this! D: That we signed! P: You could even- D: Wow P: scrape our DNA off it and make clones. D: No one’s going to send us Christmas cards P: No D: But you could send one to yourself from us. With one of these jumpers. P: Or you could get one of these and then send it back to us just so then we get one too D: Don’t do that P: So, that’s a thing. D: danandphilshop.com if you want a Dan and Phil Christmas jumper. They’re comfy and festive whatever. P: Before you interrupted me with #spon I was gonna to a little video tour of our new background D: Go crazy Phil Both: Here we go P: Starting off with the festive cac (D: ooo good shade of blue) P: Then we got this little friend. (D: I hate that! I think it’s tacky and horrible) P: I love it! P: It’s got a wire coming out of its ass (D: It looks cheap) P: Then we have (D: Like me) P: These tinsel lines (D: intertwined. beautiful.) P: we got our stockings P: And then we’ve got this that neither of us remember buying (D: no) P: With some weird alphabet lights (D: What does it spell?) P: So this is Stranger Things series 3 (D: Regret) P: And there is the festive bauble D: Because this is our first gaming video in this festive … uh …. c-cave P: Well, we did all the decorating and we were like “we feel festive now!” We just want to release our festivity. D: We were going to do this video in like two weeks P: Yeah D: but then we saw those twinkles and P: I couldn’t wait D: we just couldn’t keep it in D: That sounds weird P: So, we’re playing… D&P: Santa Banter D: What the hell is this? You say? P: It’s Christmas Obama Llama. D: They only done and did a specific Christmas version of Obama Llama P: Yeah D: This is the game that my family actually plays P: Yeah D: So when- at Christmas. So when they find out that there’s a Christmas version they’re gonna shit. P: They’re gonna be in there deep. So we’re gonna do this as a… D: Ho…Ho…Ho [Dan vs. Phil] P: I was being a reindeer if anyone’s wondering D: Now you all know what Obama llama is, right? D: It’s the game where you rhyme stuff P: remind us? So you’re given a clue? D:Yeah
P: to something, but the answer has to rhyme D: Ooo P: That’s it D: So for example. I’d be like annoying Youtuber is trying to hold a power tool. P: AmazingPhil is dr- gonna drill Dan’s face off D: *high pitched voice* You got it! P: Yay! D: ‘Cause it was a clue and then it rhymed P: *impersonating drill noise* D: I deserved it P: We’re gonna do five each and whoever scores the most wins D: For example, Phil “a motor powered sled is enjoying a bowl of porridge” P: What?? *giggle* P: That’s not easy! You have to give me an easy one to give a… D: A motor powered sled P: a motor powered sled is a bobsleigh D: No P: No D: motor powered P: A jets- a jet ski. D: What’s a jet ski on land called? P: a ground jet ski! A motor.. motorboat D: For fuck’s sake. (P: *laughs*) What is a jet ski… P: What’s it called?! D: Jet skis on land are a thing P: Jet ski on land…a land ski! D: No, it’s very literally P: a land…a snow land! Snow plow! Snow buggy! bug- snow snow bug snow. D: I’m not timing you, you fucking weirdo P: I forgot what it’s called! D: It’s a snowmobile, P: Snowmobile! That word had gone out of my brain D: What is “a motor-powered sled enjoying a bowl of porridge”? P: Snowmobile… eats… some… D: What is porridge? P: oatmeal? Ayyy! P: Good thing we’re not being timed D: That. aged me by fifty- D: Alright, read another for me. P: Fine D: Just, no, come on an example. Just hit me with one P: example D: Come on P: The vegetarian alternative to a roast dinner has been spooked by a spectre D: Nut roast saw a ghost P: Yes. There we go. D: And that’s the game. So *laughing* who’s gonna win this? Ooo I wonder D: Play along a home by screaming at your TV. Now remember- P: They’re not gonna be able to play along because I’m gonna be so lightning fast like a snowball launching towards your nose. D: A snow? Oh, what’s it called? A snow P: Shut up! D: It’s like a spherical – I know it’s something it’s a snow? A snow circle? P: The evergreen shrub with red berries and spiky leaves has mislaid its umbrella. D: Holly lost its brolly P: *while laughing* Yeah! D:Ooooo! P: Well done D: Easy peasy P: That’s a very British one, isn’t it? D: So British P: Brolly! D: If anyone not British watching this, they’re like “what the hell are you about?” P: Have you got my brolly Timothy? We need to get the cucumber sandwich D: Reindeer with the bright red nose is trying to knock a little white ball into a hole using metal sticks. P: Rudolph is playing golf! D: Yes! P: Yes! D: Okay P: See? if you don’t say “snowmobile” I’m okay! D: Alright, alright alright P: The animal trough that Jesus slept in D: Yeah P: is now working as a guardian of the forest *laughs* I like this one. D: the manger as a park ranger P: Aw, I didn’t think you’d get that! How did you get her so fast? D: Away in a manger mate D: The warm spiced drink made from fermented grapes has the flavor of seawater P: Ooo Okay, Mar-mull D: This is quite challenging
P: oh no my mum um myyyy mulled wine tastes like brine! D: Ooooo!! P:Yes! D: Yes! P: Put me on a tree and call me a star! P: I ruined it. D: I don’t want to give this to you now. P: Give it This is dark. The 24th of December recently lost a relative and is feeling very sad about it. D: Christmas Eve needs to grieve P: *laughing* Yes P: Well it, well that took a dark turn! D: Press [F] to pay respects P: (Tapping) D: Scrooge is being a bit of a lad P: Scrooge?… Ebenezer’s such a geezer! D: (giggling) P: Yes! I love this! D: That’s the most grossly British thing in the entire universe right there P: It just instills the same like dad joke cringe inside me, which I enjoy so much P: Duh duh duh duh do D: You can’t make the “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” noise P: I do whatever I want D: It’s happening. Fine P: The woolly item worn on the head with a fluffy ball on top is a good home for a large mouse-like creature to inhabit D: Bobble hat for a twat! P: No! D: Oh, sorry rat! P: rat P: Well done D: Was that right? P: That was right D: Sorry, almost got that one wrong. I’m feeling so far like this is gonna have to have some kind of (dramatic music) tense…um…resolvement A special festive baby is copying the crime from “Ocean’s Eleven” P: What? The special f- Je- D: Really? P: What? D: Really? P: What? D: Really? D: This is so easy. P: Is it? D: I’m not helping you P: Je- J- Jesus Christ is doing a heist. D: Yes! P: Yes! I wasn’t gonna use His last name. I thought we’re on first name terms D: He can walk on water Oceans 8, they could have could’ve walked right up to those jewels P: Yeah, He could have done that D: But, he wasn’t a thief. Go you Jesus. P: The almond flavored icing on a Christmas cake is capable of defeating the Man of Steel D: Marzipan beats Superman. P: Yes. Well done. Now you’ve got all five! Dan: Oooh 5! P: Oh my God D: You know, that means, Phil P: What? D: I’m about to read one to you and if you get it wrong P: it’s over D: you lose P: Oh my god, I’m so scared D: So this has been – this has been fun P: No! D: I’ve had a lot of banter playing this P: Santa look over me! D: I’ve had some good times. I hope that you’ve enjoyed watching. D: It’s been festive. I’m all cozy in my jumper. P: Come on, come on come on come on D: Okay, the talk given by the monarch is coming from the strip of sand by the sea P: What? Oh! The Queen speech is on the beach! D: *wheezing* Ye- P: Yas! I like that one D: I love your, like, calculating. P: It should be on the beach! D: Calculating D: It should be on the be- but what in England? P: Yeah D: You do not want to go to Cornwall in December P: People that aren’t familiar with our culture, the Queen goes on TV every Christmas and we get to watch her Did you know my dad, when he was a kid wasn’t allowed to open his presents until after the Queen’s speech and that was at 3! o’clock D: What?! P: My grandma was quite posh so she was like “after the Queen has spoken and then you can have your present!” D: Out of what? Some kind of psychic? P: I don’t know D: frickin’ compliment to the respect for the Queen P: Respect the Queen D: What the hell is wrong with frickin’ monarchies and British people? P: Yeah, and then when I was a kid, my grandma’s like “Come on, we have to wait for the Queen!” P: And my mum was like “No! We’re having all the presents now!” D: “Shut up! Hit me with those stockings!” P: So we got the same score. That means we need to do a lightning snowball round D: An Alllll-valanche or Nothing! P: Nice. D: Was that nice? I feel like – I feel like it was okay P: It’s better than lightning snowball round like what hell is that? *laughs* D: Yeah, in fact you you tried you did nothing at all. P: I dunno D: Yeah. P: A minute each to answer as many as we can D: No banter between P: No banter between D: Just straight, okay, I hope you can keep up with this P: The question asker has got to be fast and read it a normal pace. You can’t be like “the dog of Christmas” D: No offense P: Yeah? *both pause* P: I know I’m not the greatest reader but I’m gonna try my best P: Are you allowed passing? D: Ummm P: One pass D: One pass P: One pass D: Okay, I’m ready P: three two one D&P: Go! P: the colorful material that covers presents is engulfed in steam D: Rr- D: Wrapping paper is covered in water vapor. P: Yes! Santa’s wife isn’t keen on his mother and father. D: Mrs. Claus met the in-laws P: Yes D: Hates them P: The snowy region in Finland where Santa lives has been coated in lots of tiny brown granules that make a beach D: Lapland is full of sand. P: It is The most famous panto dame can’t locate the small piece of cloth she uses for blowing her nose P: I don’t know this D: What the hell? P: Do you want to pass? D: I’m gonna P to the ass right there P: That was “Widow Twankey has lost her hanky” D: Oh, for God’s sake, yeah go on P: The Dr. Seuss character played by Jim Carrey has consumed a bird made famous by Darwin D: Grinch ate the finch P: It did A cup of fortified wine from Portugal will not get rid of a skin growth invariably found on witches D: Port cures the wart? or doesn’t cure the wart? P: I’ll give you that, “A glass of port won’t cure your wart” D: Is that why its called port? P: Yes! D: Ok Sorry I’m being timed! Oh my god that’s it stop!! P: Buh buh baaah!! P: Wow, I mean you did well I don’t know who the eff Widow Twankey is D: I might have slightly forgot I was being timed at the end there because finding out the port is called port because it’s fortified wine from Portugal, P: that blew your mind *laughs* D: Literally just obliterated my cranium P: But did it cost you this All or Nothing? So how many did you get? D: Five? P: Let me just check. D: That’s an average of one every 12 seconds. P: Oh my god. I’m really nervous because I want to win this D: Are you ready Phil? P: *makes a horse noise* D: Three. P: Oh my God. D: Two. One. Go! The branch with berries that you kiss under is fond of the Disney film about an elephant. P: Mistletoe likes uhh Dumbo D: Yep. Uh, “All I want for Christmas is You” singer is covered in fur P: Mariah Carey… P: Is a Furry?? D: No you frickin dick P: What?? D: covered in fur AKA P: Mariah Carey… P: Is really hairy! D: Yes. Okay, the place where Santa lives is a real dump P: Uh… P: The North Pole is a hole D: *snort laughs* Yeah The three gifts bought by wise men have to have a man to drive them around P: uuhm.. Gold, frankincense and myrrh, need a chauffeur D: Yes. The mule-like animal is very lopsided P: Mule? D: The mule-like animal is very lopsided P: Mule? The don- the donkey’s wonky! D: Yep. The Christmas drink made with alcohol and egg is getting tipped down the toilet P: Eggnog’s down the bog!! D: Yep. Famous- P: I did it! D: What? P: I got six! D: No! P: Yes! D: No!!! That was a minu-? No! P: *singing* oh yeah, oh yeah, I win D: I swear that was like half an hour in the middle of that where you didn’t get something P: I didn’t get Mariah Carey for carry for ages. D: Well done, sir P: So, D: Oh my god, that was good. P: I felt so D: That was challenging P: I’ve got Christmas sweat running everywhere. Like a basted turkey D: Mop it up P: Thanks. I think you need to get me a certain board
D: *laughing quietly* Oh for gods sake. P: *giggles* D: Oh well, to be honest, it’s a good thing that I didn’t win this, ’cause where the heck would it even go on my side? P: I don’t know where it is. Have you hidden this sticker as a sabotage? D: Yeah, totally man. P: We’re really- D: Where’s it gonna go Phil? P: It’s gonna go right at the bottom P: da da da daaa da da da…. D: *mumbling* D: This thing is heavy as hell P: Yaaaas D: congratulations P: So how many have we got now? D: I don’t know but please count fast because this is so heavy P: Sixteen and a half D: Okay P: And what’s yours? D: Seventeen and a half P: What? P: How? D: What do you mean “what”? P: I thought- *gasp* P: We forgot Beasts of Balance! D: What? Oh my god, cause he filmed it (laughing and mumbling) P: Right I’m gonna go print one D: Are you just- yeah okay, he’s leaving me to hold this D: Phil (P: Just hold it up) D: Phil come back (P: Just hold it up) D: Phil come back please aaAAAH D: *wheezes* P: *singing* D: Just put it somewhere…You don’t get to repeat the music! What is this? There we go. P: Hehe! D: Do you know what that means? P: We’re even-steven! D: We are even. How did I let thi- I thought I was so far ahead P: You thought wrong, Buster D: Did I just *chuckles* D: Alright, calm down. P: It’s very full now isn’t it? D: That is a particularly full board P: Yeah. Dan, bet you never thought I’d catch up, eh? D: Really? D: That’s that’s how you’re gonna be. Now that you’ve done this. Alright, well, catch this! P: Ah! D: Ooooooooh P: That was almost death before Christmas. D: Oooh dear P: I’m just gonna cling to my- D: Can you handle the responsibility? P: To my board D: Cling to that board like Leonardo DiCaprio. P: I will D: And by that, I mean sink, buddy. P: I’d.. Let go of you D: go to the floor like a big diamond D: Uhm, and that’s banter as we say here in England. Okay, put it to the side P: I’ll put you to the side P: Everyone that watches this video are not cows D: everyone that watches this video. P: Yeah D: isn’t a very good clue P: It is! D: A bunch of nerds.. are not in the herd P: That would work, but it was “our viewers are not mooers” D: Ooh, okay. P: *laughs* I thought I’d give you one! D: You can see how I got confused there. P: Yeah. D: Well there you go, that was the Santa Banter D: Shout out to them coming up with literally a whole entire game that’s all Christmas themed P: That was fun D: Uhm, and also shout out to us ’cause- *laughs* P: “Shout out to us” D: Oooo seamless! P: Our DVD is out now! D: Interactive Introverts! You enjoyed the last ten minutes? D: Well, oh my god, you can enjoy a hundred and- P: moderate sex references D: That’s not the length P: 118 minutes approximately D: 118 approximate solid minutes of Dan and Phil banter P: And then you can watch it again with our director’s commentary D: That is out now. If you want this special holographic edition, then it is on Amazon and it is very limited edition P: It is D: And it come with all kinds of free stuff like these, uhm, posters, and art cards P: and a patch that you can sew on to things D: So go to interactiveintrovets.com if you want to get this. Hope you enjoy it Thanks *bump* P: So, give us a thumbs up if you enjoyed the bants! You can subscribe if you want to see our next video. D: Oooo P: Go check out Dan’s channel, check out mine. We uploaded Phil is not on fire! D: True P: Go see that. Have a good day P: Mariah Carey is not hairy D: or a furry. P: Bye

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