Feeling Hopeless? Try THIS to Regain Your Faith in Love


Hey, this is Mat Boggs and today I want to
talk to you about what do you do when you feel hopeless? And this is a bit more of an
intense video and I received this email from someone who follows me and sent me this email.
And she writes, “I just turned 70 years old. Although I look younger, yes, I have
issues with not looking young enough and I haven’t been in a relationship for almost
nine years. I felt this sadness listening to the phone call because I recently have
been thinking it would be nice to have a partner but thinking it can’t happen. I failed [the
force?] so many times, et cetera, et cetera, and there is something inherently wrong with
me. I’m not really lovable. Honestly, I don’t know if I would even know love if
it hit me in the face, and I don’t know if I’ve ever really loved or been loved.
I’ve been married once before and had two significant relationships, but I spent most
of my life single. My question for you is, and I know you’ll say, ‘Of course there’s
hope. Of course there’s hope,’ but can I ever really believe this? I’ve taken so
many transformational programs, I’ve read so many books on relationships and codependency,
et cetera, and I’m still not in the relationship that I want. Please give me some words. Donna.”
Well, I’m really appreciative of Donna for sending that in because just sending a message
like that takes courage. And maybe you’ve had times in your life where you felt like
it’s hopeless, you felt like you’ve read the books, you felt like you’ve taken the
courses, you felt like you’ve poured your heart and soul into this thing called relationship,
this thing called love, and you’re still empty-handed. You’re looking around in your
life and you still don’t have the relationship that you want. And so the question becomes
at this moment what do you do? Do you yield to the part of you that says, “There’s
no hope, it’s not in the stars for me, maybe it’s never going to work out. Maybe I’m
destined to be single?” Or do you claim a different thought? Do you claim a different
part of yourself? A part of yourself that actually does believe in hope? Because here’s
the deal: you wouldn’t be watching this video if there wasn’t at least some part
of you, maybe some corner of your heart that still believes that it’s possible. Donna
wouldn’t have sent me that message if she didn’t still believe that there was some
part of her that believed it was possible for her.
And as human beings, it’s really easy to yield our power to the hopelessness, to yield
our power to the paradigms in our minds that are saying, “It won’t happen, it can’t
happen for you,” trying to keep you single. And on top of that, these old beliefs and
these old thoughts that remind you of all the circumstances in your life like, “Look,
you haven’t been dating anyone for nine years. You’ve had all these bad dates. You’re
too old. Look at your circumstances. You’re still single. You have yet anything to show
for all the effort that you’ve put in.” The paradigm loves to remind you of that and
so you have a choice at this moment what you’re going to do with that information.
One of the most challenging and one of the most powerful moves we can make as human beings
is to remember the truth in the face of opposing facts. What does that mean? That means that,
although the facts of your life might be speaking to the situation of being single, situation
of not having love, the situation that it’s been years since you’ve had love, yes, those
are the facts, but it’s not the truth of who you are. The truth is that there is a
power [breathing? 03:31] you that is far more powerful than any circumstances, any condition.
I don’t care what it is, how long it’s been there, your history does not determine
your destiny. But your choice is which side are you going to give power to? Are you going
to give power to the fact that it’s been there this long, that you’ve been single,
that it hasn’t worked out? Or are you going to give power to the creative force in you
to be able to create whatever it is that you want? The truth is that if you have that longing
for love, you know what that is? So your longing of love is the echo, it’s the counterpoint
to your partner’s longing for love. That’s the connection point, that that is possible
for you, but only if you partner with your point of power within.
There’s a great story about an elder grandfather walking through a path and his grandson is
walking with him and they’re walking in silence for a long time until the grandfather
looks down at his grandson and says, “You know, I feel like there are two wolves inside
of me and they’re fighting. And one wolf is fighting for resentment and fear and hatred
and hopelessness, and the other wolf is fighting for good and courage and possibility and they’re
at odds with one another.” And the grandson says, “Well, grandfather, which one is going
to win?” And he goes, “Well, that’s easy, grandson. The one that wins is the one
that I feed.” And I love that. You’ve got to stand guard at the gate of your mind.
If you want love, when you hear thoughts of discouragement, thoughts of doubt, “I’m
too old, it’s been too long, it’s not in the cards for me, it’s not going to happen,”
when you hear those voices of doubt, you have to say no to those voices, stand guard at
the gate of your own mind, and partner with the thoughts of possibility, that, “Yes
it can happen. Yes, it can be real for me. Yes, I’m moving in this direction.” And
two things that you want to do that can help fuel and feed those thoughts.
Number one, you want to have a mentor in your life that can help guide you because every
single one of us, we can’t see our own blind spots. That’s why they’re blind spots.
It’s really hard to see the picture when you’re the one in the frame. So you want
to be around someone who can help guide you, who has done two things: number one, manifested
these kind of results in their life, whatever it is that you want, they’ve achieved those
results, and they’ve helped other people do it as well. You want someone in your life
like that. And number two, you want to surround yourself with people who believe in you, in
your power, in your possibility, in the life that you are creating in your life. You want
to immerse yourself in that environment. And remind yourself that, “Yes, it is possible
for me,” because again, you wouldn’t be watching this video if there wasn’t that
power inside of you connecting you to hope, connecting you to something amazing in your
life. Say no to the part of you that doubts, say yes to the part of you that believes,
commit to that part, move yourself forward, and you’ll start to see a whole new set
of results unfold for yourself. So I hope this serves you. If you like this
video, please share it with those that you care about. If you’re not subscribed to
this channel, make sure you get subscribed so you can get the latest and greatest videos
about how to give and receive love and expand our lives. And, as always, there’s a link
in the description of this video with some resources that will support you in attracting
the relationship that you want. And what I’d love for you to do at this
moment: post a comment below this video, and here’s what I would love to hear. What voices
of negativity, doubt, and discouragement try to get at you, right? Name those voices? What
is their message for you? You might not be good enough, of you might be too old or you
might not be pretty enough. What are those voices? I know it takes courage to actually
say in public what those voices are, but my encouragement to you is to go ahead and do
that anyway and then replace it. What are you saying no to and then what belief, what
thought or idea are you replacing it with that you’re going to say yes to? Put that
comment below this video. I love to read and support and hold energy for you as you move
forward creating a life that you love. Thanks so much for watching. I look forward to seeing
you again soon.

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