Dan and Tyler play NEVER HAVE I EVER!


Hello internet, it’s special guest time. Say hello to… Special Guest: Is this when I come up? Tyler: HI! Both: *laugh* Tyler: I was so far down I didn’t know what was happening.
Dan: I’ve never done a smooth intro on my channel Dan : There we go
Tyler: Thank you Dan: Hi-ler Dan: ….see what I did… – I’ll just jump off the bed and leave Tyler: Thank you, God bless Dan: … and then that can be the video! Tyler: Cool! It’s been fun! Thanks everyone! (Dan: Thanks for watching.) Be sure to give it a
thumbs up, (Dan: Subscribe!) audible.com! Dan: In today’s video, Tyler – (Tyler: what are we doing?) I was thinking
now that I have you back (Tyler: Back in your bed.) I was thinking about what we have in common… Tyler: (y’all coming out or something???) I don’t know what immediately comes to your mind *laughter* Tyler: I was just thinking about whisks. (Dan: Ughhhhh.) Are we doing a whisk challenge? Are we taking a whisk- (Dan: No, no, this isn’t the whisk challenge.) Dan: Actually, it was YouTube, was the, (Tyler: Ohhhh) the thing that we have in common, not whisks or anything that these guys had in mind ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So I thought because I started off as a
fan of YouTube which is something that these guys all know and you are the professional fangirl- see what I’m gonna- Tyler: I hate my branding! Dan: You’ve re-branded yourse- I’m sorry I thought we could test which one of us is the bigger YouTube fan by playing a game of Never Have I Ever Tyler: By rubbing our hands! Dan: Sneaky Dan: YouTube Stalker Edition. Tyler: Ohhh! Dan: Okayy Yup, we are going to go deep with some things that you probably don’t want to admit. Tyler: I started as a fan of YouTube too. Dan: Really? Tyler: Yeah Dan: But just like a million years ago cause… oh sorry Tyler: Whoa. (Dan: You’re still fresh, Tyler) I’m 18, I don’t know what you’re talking about. (Tyler: Five fingers.) Dan: Five fingers. We’re gonna say ‘Never have I ever’. If you’ve done the thing, you put down a finger. First person to lose all their
finger lives DIES. In the game. Tyler: Okay… Dan: I feel like we need some kind of forfeit to make this, like, real. Tyler: What do you mean a forfeit? Like, something you lose-? Dan: Just, just, there needs to be something to play for. Tyler: You know what? [dramatic trumpets] I have a shocking machine in my book-bag (Wtf Tyler) Dan: Really? Tyler: Should we shock ourselves? Dan: YES! (laughing)Tyler: Is that what you want? Dan: These guys- these guys love it, don’t they? Tyler: I’ve upped the stakes! Do you want me to go get that? Dan: I think that would be a good forfeit. Tyler: It really is the worst. Dan: Grab it! Tyler: *gasps* *unintelligible muttering* Dan: …and other bad decisions by Dan. Tyler: Oh no! Dan: What did you – *laughs* Ff- Tyler spilled Redbull on my carpet! Dan: What did you buy? Tyler: Listen it’s like a, um – Dan: Is this supposed to like cure people that are having heart attacks or something? Tyler: I think it’s supposed to massage (Dan: Oh my g- this is medical) Listen! *laughs* Dan: Supposed to massage what? Why did you buy this? *laughter* Where do you put it? Tyler: We’ll get to this once somebody loses. Dan: Okay. God. Dan: So Phil, handy guy, has provided us with some things to say whether we never have ever or not so this is a complete surprise to both
of us. Tyler: Okey dokey. Dan: Hands up. Tyler: How big are your hands? Woww, Oh my god. (Dan: That’s weird) I have tiny little baby hands. Dan: It’s like microphilia. Don’t Google that. Tyler: Okay! Dan: The first one, Tyler, hands up, is: Never have I ever taken a photo of another YouTuber without them knowing. Tyler: I must have… Dan: You’re like, I don’t remember doing it, but I know. Tyler: I’m like, knowing me, I probably at least snapchatted somebody. Tyler: That’s a finger. Dan: Dun Dun Dun! I haven’t. Oooooh. Tyler: Wait, I don’t believe you. Dan: No, I’m against that. It’s creepy. Sorry for having – sorry for having morals. Never have I ever – are you kidding, Phil – had a sexy dream about another YouTuber *cheeky gay laughter* Dan: Ohhh, here we go.. Tyler: I one hundred percent have. Dan: Here we go. Uhh… relatively recently, too! Not you, fuck off Dan: I’m insulted. It wasn’t me? Tyler: It was a British youtuber. Dan *somewhat offended*: And it wasn’t me? Tyler: Mmm. It was either Marcus or Alfie, and I think it was Alfie, and I’m like now that I even – Dan: Are you going to send an apology card to, Zoe, like? Tyler: Nooooo! She’s like probably flattered… Dan: How sexy is sexy? Tyler: It wasn’t like, seeexxyy. Dan: Cause I had a dream that some youtubers were at a pool party Tyler: That’s like – Dan: I think Caspar got out of a pool at that party so – Tyler: Yeah. Put that finger down! You were enjoying that wet – (Dan: Okay, okay. There we go, yup!) Tyler: Never have I ever added a youtuber on facebook and looked through all their photos. Yeah, of course I have! Are you kidding me? All my friends. Dan: Is that a weird thing to do? Tyler: No, not at all! That’s cause we’ve – Dan: I’ve definitely done that. I’d add a youtuber and then I’d go like, okay, immediately backwards from the
latest profile picture. Tyler: I’d start at first- Have you ever looked through Marcus’s pictures? Dan: I’ve – my self-esteem couldn’t handle that Tyler: No, the beginning-of-time Marcus is very – it’s good for everybody. Dan: That’s an evening that I’ve got planned then! Tyler: I’ll send you a picture and you can post it right here. You’re welcome, Marcus. Dan: But it’s good to know that we’re both stalkers around our friends. Tyler: Look at us! Aww. Dan: Little 3 buddies. That’s really – what is this? *more laughs* Dan: Never have I ever
secretly stolen a youtuber’s possession to keep as a memento. Dan: This is next level. (Tyler: Uhhhh) Phil, who do you think we are, Phil?! Tyler: Yeah that’s pretty rude. I don’t think I have… Dan: I love that you’re… Tyler: I’m just – I’m like – Dan: It’s like, I wouldn’t doubt for a second that I would steal some underwear. Tyler: I wouldn’t, yeah, I wouldn’t, no, I would never steal, like underwear Dan: I haven’t stolen- okay (Tyler: Don’t lie.) I’m not a thief. Tyler: Never have I ever accidentally touched the butt of another YouTuber. *Dan immediately starts laughing* Tyler: Uhhhh. Dan: Phil, you little shit. He added this cause he knows I’ve done it. Tyler: Whose did you touch? Dan: We were at VidCon a couple weeks ago (Tyler: Is it Glozell?) It was – I mean – I touched all of Glozell’s butt- (Tyler: Glozell’s butt touched you.) Dan: Yeah. *Audience screaming while Glozell does some weird shit* Dan: There was no consent in that situation. We’re the new Nicki and Drake from the Anaconda video. Iconic. Tyler: Wait, no, whose butt? Whose butt? Dan: I was doing the thing where you’re trying to, like, sneak past a group of people that are too close to the wall and I totally groped groped John Green. And – Tyler: Oh, but you know, he needed that touch, that human interaction. Dan: He probably needed it but then he turned around and I ran away and I didn’t tell him it was me Dan: So I don’t- I don’t know like if you noticed if- I don’t know if you’re ever gonna watch this video but John, if you remember someone touching your butt that was me. (Tyler: Good job.) Dan: I’m really sorry. I-It wasn’t sexual. Tyler: I can tell he loved it. (Dan: Unless…) Dan: Okay Tyler: so you can tell the truth, it was
sexual, (Dan: Okay) it’s fine. Dan: Going in for a cheeky squeeze. Tyler: Oh my god! Tyler: I don’t think I’ve ever touched a butt. Dan: You’ve never touched a butt!? *laughs* Tyler: Not accidentally! *laughter* Dan: You’re a deliberate butt-man – Tyler: I know what I’m up to. Dan: When you see a butt that you want, you go for it. Tyler: I can’t believe I’m winning! Dan: I know, wow. Tyler: Well who’s the real winner! Dan: I need to reassess
myself. Dan: Never have I ever read YouTuber fanfiction for your own enjoyment. Tyler: Okay! Dan: Oooh, so that’s not for research. Tyler: Well, ’cause I’ve done it for research, or for a collab, or this or that or whatever Tyler: Does it have to be about me? Dan: No. *laughter* Dan: Spill. Spill immediately. Tyler: I have no story, I have no story. I’m not gonna say it, I can’t say it (Dan: Come on.) Tyler: I feel my entire face going red. That’s it. It’s not like it was smutty..- Dan: Lonely Thursday night. Tyler: Yeah I was just hanging out. Dan: Crack open some- Tyler: Couple of guys, just me… and me. And just reading about a couple guys, that’s all (it was phanfiction, wasn’t it?) Dan: Having some bro time! Tyler: Just us. Dan: No shenanigans. Tyler: Uh huh.. Dan: Yup! Tyler: Have you!? Dan: Um, okay….. *nervous laughter* Tyler: OH MY GOD! Dan: Right, right. Every now and then I like to just- I appreciate creative writing, okay. (Tyler: Uh huh.) Tyler: Never have I ever made a shrine to a youtuber? Dan: Secret shrine for a YouTuber. Tyler: I don’t think I – No, I don’t think I’ve ever done that. Tyler: Myself doesn’t count. Dan: Okay, you have the Tyler tribute closet. (Tyler: Yeah, y’know?) Dan: Good. Tyler: Yeah, I have my own hair, and, like, a booger, (quietly) all those things. Dan: You guys should all do that for yourselves. That’s the homework. (Tyler: That’s- that’s self-love.) Dan: Make a shrine for yourself, to affirm yourself. Tyler: But for another youtuber? No. Dan: No. I mean, I had a lot of Smosh merch when I was 16. Dan: But that doesn’t count. Cause I didn’t light any candles around it. Tyler: Okay Tyler: Yeah that’s the key. Dan: That is. Without candles, guys, it’s not a shrine, it’s just- a concerning pile of things. Tyler: it’s just-it’s a pile. Dan: It’s a pile. Dan: *chuckle* Ouch. I don’t know if I want to admit to this one. Dan: Never have I ever asked to collab with someone and been rejected/ignored. Dan: That’s never happened to me because I have no friends. I don’t ask for people to collab enough for that to be an issue… (Dramatic music) Tyler: I think I’ve been rejected. Dan: Who’s rejected you? Tyler: I don’t want to put them on blast. Dan: I’m going to pat you with my single finger Tyler: Thank you! That’s like all I could ever dream of, is that one-finger touch. Dan: It’s like ET. Tyler: But back to the question at hand. I’ll tell you later. Dan: Okay. Tyler: But, like, it was a very blunt ‘No’. Dan: Really? Tyler: Like, an upset ‘No’. (Dan: Ooooh) Like a disgust ‘No’. Yeah, like that. And I was like (softly) “Okay.” This was years ago. (Dan: Okay.) Tyler: But, an elephant never forgets. Dan: Tyler never forgets, he’s coming for you. Tyler: I will drag you to the pits of hell. Dan: Well, this is it. (Tyler: Wait.) The penultimate one. Aww, finger buddies. Tyler: I don’t like this. Dan: This video is going to get flagged okay.. *laughter* Dan: Never have I ever met a
youtuber who didn’t know who you were. Dan: You motherf- *laughter* Tyler: I 100% have,
obviously. Dan: He wrote that because he knows that this has happened. This is a
tender memory for me so just everybody quiet for a moment. (*Tyler braces himself*) Dan: This was in 2010, (Tyler: Mmhmm) I was a big YouTube fan, I went to a meet-up in London and Charlie McDonnell was there. (Tyler: Yeah.) These guys know this. I was like maybe you know I’ve been making videos for
like half a year, maybe he’ll know who I am, I went up to him. I was so excited. I’d like idolized (“stalked”) Charlie for many years prior to this so
this was a BIG moment for me. I went up to him and I just went “Hi!” and then he was just like “Hello”, (Tyler: Ohhhh, that was good impression) And then instantly- I know- and then instantly, I just, I felt a spear, a javelin just like – *stabs self with imaginary javelin* Tyler: Oh -you were done with it? Dan: I just went, can I have a hug? (Tyler: Awww, that is so precious.) And then he just looked at me like, “Why is this man who’s at least two foot taller than me, asking-” and then he just gave me this really uncomfortable kind of like (Tyler: I’m imagining it.) “Guy, why are you… – okay” and then I left and then I think I cried a bit that night. Tyler: Humble beginnings. Every friendship starts with a hello.
Dan: Every- yeah- a hello followed by an awkward hug. Tyler: An awkward hello with an
awkward hug. (Dan: …and then a little cry in the evening) Dan: Who was it for you? Just an endless stream of people? Do you remember any- (Tyler: How dare you!!) Tyler: Jack and Finn. (Dan: Really?) Uh huh. I went up and I was like “Hi, I’m a big fan, I’m a YouTuber too” I’d love to make a video someday and they were like (softly) “Okay, thank you so much” It was like “Okay, I’ll see you online” Dan: Standout moment of your life, for sure. Tyler: Yeah, it’s- it’s vivid. Dan: So I think we can say from, you know, stalking youtubers who rejected us, to getting rejected for collabs, to just being a bit creepy, we’re both YouTube trash! Tyler: We are garbage. Dan: Yeaahhhh. Tyler: I’m affronted by how big your hand was coming at me. It’s humongous! (Dan: High-five, Tyler.) That might be as big as my face. Tyler: It literally is. Get out of here! Tyler: Are we ready to shock ourselves? Dan: Oh God, why did we agree to this? Why did- This is your fault for bringing it! Tyler: You asked ‘how can we be punished?’ You begged for punishment. Dan: It’s not worth it, it’s not worth-. Tyler: It’s actually going to hurt. I’ll do level 10 for 10 seconds. Dan: What the fuck is level 10? Tyler: You’re about to find out. (Dan: Are you kidding me?) *beeping noises* *Dan screams* Tyler: One… two… three… four… five… Dan: What the fuck is happening to my hand?!?! Oh my God, look at this!!! (Tyler: Six… seven… eight… nine… ten.) Tyler: I felt so bad doing it, oh my God. How do you feel? I just casually have this in my book bag. Dan (out of breath): Why do you carry that with you? Tyler: Just for a simp- Anytime I have a simple collab, that I need a punishment for. Dan: Never collaborate with Tyler Oakley. Tyler: That’s why people reject me! Tyler: (Very quietly.) Should I do it? Or… Dan: Oh yeah you lost. “Should you do it?” You lost too, motherf- (Tyler: I’m like, “The video’s good”) Dan: One there. Tyler: No, no, not right on the vein, oh my god. I didn’t put it on your vein. *beeping* Dan: Eleven! Tyler: Oh! My god! Noo!! *starts screaming* I can’t even move!! Are you counting!? Dan: Oh, uh, four… five… (Tyler: I can’t move my hand!) sssix… seven… eight… ninnnne…. Tyler: Fuck you! (Dan: Ten!) Come on, turn it off! Dan: How do I turn it off? Tell me! (Tyler: DOWN! THE DOWN BUTTON!) You didn’t tell me how to stop it! Tyler: Oh my god. Oh my god. Dan: And the moral of that is, never engage in BDSM without a safeword. Tyler: Ohhh, that is so true. Tyler: Now I know. (Dan: Banana! Banana!) Is banana our safeword? Dan: “Banana” will be our “Always”. (Tyler: Banana-) *laughter* Tyler: Okay, never again. Dan: Thanks for watching; give us a thumbs-up if you enjoyed it! We made a video over on Tyler’s channel playing a thing that we made, didn’t we? (Tyler: Yeah!) Dan: It was the seven second challenge app, go watch that, subscribe to Tyler if you haven’t already. Tyler: And if you’re one of my people, subscribe to Dan because he’s one of my
faves. I want to know who would you make a shrine of? Any youtuber, not us, somebody else. Dan: That’s the point. Yeah. What’s
your safeword? Tyler: Which is also the YouTuber you would make a shrine of. My safe word is.. (Dan: Zoe!) Yeah, Zoe. Glozell. Yeah. (Dan: I just snorted!-) Tyler: Aww.. Dan: This needs to end. Bye! Tyler: Bye friends!

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