Hello Internet (Sorry) [Tyler] Wait, start over Hello internet So, there’s someone who I have known for a very long time But, I have never made a video with And it kinda looks like he’s giving me a bj *more laughing and gasping* It’s Tyler Oakley! [Tyler] Hi! Hi (Dan) Oh My God I think I’m like gone completely red from the leaning over You were down there a while- I was- You were So… um there is a game I wanted to play with some youtube friends and I wanted to make this Video for a while. Problem is, everyone I’ve asked is either too innocent or too easily offended to play the game with and now you’ve come along We’re both going to hell already Right, I’m like, already destined We have nothing to lose I have no shame. So, we are gonna be playing cards against humanity Have you played this before? I have Do you like the game? It’s a little tamed for me is it actually ? basically , we’re going to be given a phrase and we have to fill in the blank and which one of us does it in the most funny or offensive way wins our first thing is Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Old-people smell! (At the same time) Tyler: That is the worst chamber! Dan: They can’t–they can’t help that Tyler you can’t make fun– ohhh man And I’ve got Harry Potter and the Chamber of Balls I meannnnnn… what? It’s a bit, I mean what would that be? just- That’s heaven Which do you prefer? I mean, the idea of Harry walking in just being like- Affronted by McGonagall Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s HAHHAHA ok ok ok maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s scrubbing under the folds ohhhh nooooo that is a mental image what’s yours Tyler? Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s a gypsy curse what is a gypsy curse? you just look fabulous all the time? Yeah! wow! What’d you have to do to a gyspy to get that curse? I don’t know you can have that one no you can have it Exactly I should have that who would be offended by this game? oh, this card, nevermind really, sirens? Living in London is awful making videos. It’s just like, can you please get stabbed outside someone elses apartment? It’s done. They’re done. I just needed to complain. What helps Obama unwind? Oh this one’s good. What do you got? What helps Obama unwind? Cheeky bum sex. Ohhhh! Same! I was gonna say, “My collection of high tech sex toys.” Because, from experience, it works. I don’t think I’ve ever blushed this hard in a video. Really? Yeah. Feel it. No, you don’t feel it, I feel it! I mean, you can feel it. Can I touch you? You can feel it. You’re hot, Tyler! Thank you. You’re really hot right now! -It’s cause of this TRXYE sweater. Don’t keep that in! Can you decide between those? I can’t decide. I can’t. Let’s- Let’s give em both again. Okay. Okay. Four, two to you. What is there a ton of in heaven? Neither of either of us will ever find out. Yeah, we’re never gonna fucking know! What do you have? I just- I just have a stupid one! You should say it. What is there a ton of in heaven? Geese. The fuck? I’m sorry. I’m so immature. I was gonna say winking at old people. There’s a lot of winking going. Technically- Right- Technically Everyone’s old- Everyone’s gonna be around for a while- Right. None of that in heaven though. You can have geese. Oh can I? Yeah you can have that
I can have the random factor because imagine if there’s like a heaven of geese. And then they all greet you as- you die. That sounds terrifying. That’s hell. That is my personal hell. Rude question. I’m gonna go with…. I mean, I kinda think about it. I think we all do.
Yeah. Getting pretty turned on by Morgan Freeman’s voice. Can you not? When I’m having sex, I like to think about… You can have that. Is this your first time, is this your first time- Ok *throws virgin into volcano* And then you’re just kind of doing your business over the- uhm… Over the cliff. You can have that, that’s your- that’s your point. Oh, thank you. Why do I hurt all over, Tyler? What did it to me? I wish I had just like- grandpa. Shit, that’s too real! Uhm… I was gonna go with… Okay, exp-.
Okay Okay, Tyler. Honestly, knowing grandma… Disturbing, but charming! NO! I SAW YOURS! NO! What would grandma find disturbing yet oddly charming? NO! Your point, enjoy it, have it, love it, it’s yours. Yet oddly charming. Have you ever seen tentacle porn?
Yeah. I said that with too much confidence. Final round.
Are you ready? Okay I’m ready, Tyler. What? Mine’s illegal, but okay. There- yeah. How did Tyler lose his virginity? What! I lost my virginity, actually… to a Super Soaker full of cat pee. I also had the Pope, which I was gonna go with. But.. Thank you for your time. It’s been real. Tyler Oakley, everybody. So with a score of like, 4, versus… This many, All of those. Tyler, you win! Are you proud? You know…
Is this anything to be proud of, to be honest? This is definitely the most shameful thing that’s ever happened to me. Oh, I can’t let this not happen. We’ll do this on camera. No, what? Sexy end screen dance. Oh- I thought you were gonna do- I didn’t know what you were gonna do to me. I was scared! Cheeky bum sex? It’s the sexy end screen dance! And look at how much shorter I am. Tyler, your crotch isn’t even in shot. Thank you. Oh my god! Okay, I’m gonna have to- I’m gonna have to pull the camera back. Shut up! Wait, is this gonna work? I don’t think we can move without going out of shot. You can see my zipper. No, okay, the end. If you haven’t already, make sure you click on Tyler’s face to subscribe to his channel. Or on my face, if you haven’t subscribed to mine. And we actually made a video on Tyler’s channel, where… We watched porn together. Yeah… I- I know how it sounds. It’s kinda… What it is. I regret everything. Okay, uhm… Okay, bye. Do you call it a collab? (stressing the “co”) That’s what all British people call it. What do you call it? A collab! (stressing the “llab”) A collab (stressing the “llab”), collab (stressing the “co).