CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY


Mica: Go. Eat something. Mica: MhhhhMhhMm 😋 Luigi: Damn it. My cards are terrible! Ann: Puppies? Awww cute! Ann: Child abuse! (witch like cackle) Ann: That’s your card, isn’t it? Sheep: That’s biased. Ann: Screw you! Ann: Now that’s child abuse.
Celina: What ended my last… Celina: relationship? Luigi: Dark. Celina: Passive aggressive post-it notes. Ann: This one’s Celina’s. The one that says “emotions” Luigi: Huh!? Doing the right thing!?
Mica: Doing the right thing? Sheep: Who wins this round? Ann: Let me think… Celina: Child abuse.. (laughs maniacally) Luigi: Puppies! Awww! Ann: I choose this one. Whose card is this? Sheep: Which one? Ann: Doing the right thing. Sheep: Mine! Ann: Really? Shit!
Mica: *weird frustrated groaning noise (perverted laughter from 4 supposedly religious Catholics and a Muslim) Luigi, Ann, Mica: Inappropriate yodeling. Celina: Boooring.
Luigi: It’s okay-ish. Luigi: WHAT’S THAT SOUND!? Luigi: WHAT’S THAT SOUND? Luigi: Holding down a child and farting all over him. Celina: Hope’s the best for me. Sheep: What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner? Sheep: Horse meat. Luigi: It’s okay..
Mica: Okaaaay.. Luigi: Boriiiing. Luigi: Don’t read them, just smack them down. Sheep: The biggest, blackest dick. Sheep: I bet it tasted great. Luigi: I get by with a little help from… Luigi: Being a motherfucking box
(what??) Luigi: I get by with a little help from… Luigi: cuddling… Mica: Awwwww. Mica: Sweet! Mica: This is yours. Isn’t it, Celina? Luigi: She’s putting a bit too much effort. Luigi: I get by with a little help from… Luigi: Altar boys. Luigi: Heeeeeey! Celina: Whose card is that? Celina: Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children… Celina.. a brain tumor. Luigi: Don’t choose brain tumor coz it’s Mica’s card! Celina: I think the funniest is “brain tumor”
Luigi: No! That’s Mica’s! Ann: Yaaaaaay! Thank you! Ann: Hey! I know you laughed! Luigi: Okay. It was yours. Okay! Ann: Naaaaaah. This is your card, isn’t it? Celina: Woah. That got serious. Luigi: Eehhhhhhh. Luigi: Mica, you’re too obvious. Ann: I choose this one. Our first chimpanzee president. Luigi: …my relationship status? Ann: What the fuck? Ann: Whose card is that? Ann: Holy shit! Celina: It’s Mica’s! Ann: What a slutty answer. Luigi: Is it yours? Ann: Nope. I swear. Luigi: I’m watching you. Mica: Go, go. Next, next. Luigi: Excited? Excited!? That card is so Mica’s. Ann: The card’s Mica’s! Celina: (weird laugh) I’m sorry! An: Celinnnaaaaa Luigi: You want me to pick your card? Celina: No.. I was laughing about the cancer thing.. Luigi: You laugh weird. Ann: You’re one to talk. Ann: Pervert! Luigi’s such a pervert! Mica: A romantic candlelit dinner would be incomplete without… Luigi: Too long, bro. Luigi: “The morbidly obese” is too edgy. Celina: I think it’s funny. Luigi: Aha! Is it yours? Luigi: How many black cards you got? Luigi: Zero? *points to her card as if that’ll get it chosen lol* Ann: Ohhhhh, Celina! Ann: Choose her card, dude. Ann: Have mercy on her. Ann: Hurry up and pick hers! Ann: Luigi, I beg you.. pick hers. Luigi: The look on Celina’s face was like.. Luigi: Give me a minute to reconsider. Luigi: This one. Right? Luigi: Let’s give it a shot. Luigi: Help! My son is… Sheep: It sucks. Luigi: I’m choosing between Luigi: Michael Jackson and morbidly obese. Celina: I think the obese– Luigi: NICE TRY! Luigi:(To Mica) The obese card’s yours, isn’t it? Mica: Secret. Luigi: Michael Jackson? Luigi: Who has the smallest deck? Luigi: I’m choosing… Sheep: Yaaaay… Ads: MAN FUCK U MAN Mica: I choose the “dying” card. Luigi: Don’t mind if I do, Mica. Sheep: I didn’t know he had one.

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