Brotherhood 2.0: January 24, 2007

Good morning Hank; it’s Thursday January 24th. Today’s blog entry comes in two parts. Part
one: the first part of the survey, part two: In your pants. Yeti sock puppet: How long have you known
Hank and Katherine? John: Thanks for asking that question, puppet.
I’ve known Hank since he was born, and I’ve known Katherine since, I believe, 1999. Puppet: What do you want from us? John: You know, puppet, I think that’s what
the Buddhists would call a question wrongly phrased. The question is not, what do I want
from my brother; the question is what does my brother want from me? And the answer to
that question is, I believe, a Nintendo Wii. That, that’s also what I want from my brother. Puppet: What are you doing? John: I’m writing books for teenagers and
doing this weird video project with my brother. Puppet: Why are you doing it? John: Well, I write books because it makes
me feel less, like, worthless. Puppet: What’s next? John: Well, the major next at the moment is
finishing my new and as yet untitled third book. Puppet: How you doin’? John: I’m doin really well, sock puppet, and
thank you for asking. Puppet: What’s the best book you’ve read this
year? John: Uh, the best book I read last year is
probably The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. Where should it go? Where? Oh, right beneath his
name, I think. Congratulations, Markus. Definitely deserved. So, I went around my home library and found
some books that I think benefit from the In Your Pants rule, and I’d like to share them
with you. You have Markus Zusak’s second novel, Getting
the Girl in Your Pants. The unfathomably bad The Mystery of the Golden
Spheres in Your Pants. Rabbit at Rest in Your Pants. Man, I sure
am glad you stopped hopping. The Cheese Monkeys in Your Pants. Then we have two excellent novels about love
and promiscuity: Everyman in Your Pants, and Albert Camus’s classic The Stranger in Your
Pants. The Little Drummer Girl in Your Pants. Ow,
stop drumming, Jesus! And of course you have The Sun Also Rises
in Your Pants, which is… which is actually what The Sun Also Rises is about. The Thin Man in Your Pants. I’m just not gonna say a word. The Echo Maker in Your Pants. HELLO Hello
hello hello hello. Okay, I never thought I would do that on the video blog. Everything That Rises Must Converge in Your
Pants. I should add an addendum to the in Your Pants
rule, which is that sometimes “in your pants” isn’t the funniest way that you can add to
a book title. For instance: Will You Miss Me When I’m Gone in Your Pants is a little
funny, not as funny as Will You Miss Me When I’ve Gone in Your Pants, but the funniest
one, I think, is Will You Miss Me When I’m Gone From Your Pants. I believe that is an old Carter family tune: (singing) Will you miss me when I’m gone…
from your pants? Will you miss me when I’m gone… from your pants? Will you miss me
when I’m go-o-one? Will you miss me when I’m gone… from your pants? Hank, I’ll see you tomorrow.

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